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DATING ADVICE & TIPS
So you’re ready to step up your relationship and you want to come up with some hot sexting messages to send to your boyfriend. Or maybe he’s asking you to send sexts but you’re still not sure if you want to…or where to start.
If you do wander down the sexting path, you’re far from alone. In a study from the American Psychological Association, researchers found that 88% of respondents had sexted, and 75% of those people had done so in a committed relationship. Those who were in relationships saw higher levels of sexual satisfaction than sexters who were single.
So if it could spice up your sex life…why not try it?
Researchers have found that there are scientific reasons why sexting arouses us. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D., a licensed psychotherapist, author, and TEDx speaker, says:
“When you receive a sext, your brain reacts by activating hormones and other neurochemicals of pleasure such as dopamine,” says Dr. Wish. “For women, the attachment hormone oxytocin also gets switched on. This hormone, which is crucial to mothers, intensifies feelings of the joys of closeness. When you combine pleasure and closeness, you can get sexual arousal — even from sexting! For men, hormones such as vasopressin intensify their sexual pleasure.”
Sexting can turn a man on at any stage of your relationship. In this article, I’ll give you some example sexting messages to send to your boyfriend…
- Before you’ve had sex
- After the first time you have sex
- After you’ve been together for a few months
- After you’ve been together for a few years
Each scenario will have a slightly different approach when it comes to sexting.
Above All, Be Comfortable
This may be the first time you’ve sexted, especially if you’re new to dating all over again. Sexting certainly wasn’t a “thing” the last time you were single! Men simply whispered sexy things in your ear when you were on a date. Texting has certainly changed the dating landscape, hasn’t it?
Let me say if the idea of sending sexy texts to a man completely skeeves you out, don’t do it. You need to be comfortable. But let me also say that sexting doesn’t have to be gross. You can find sexy words without being lewd and still turn on your man. I say give it a try and see how you feel about it. If you hate it, you can stop. But if he encourages you, you might find that you become the Cassanova of sexting!
Let’s move on to those examples of sexting messages to send to your boyfriend!
Sexting Messages to Send Your Boyfriend…Before You’ve Had Sex
So you haven’t done the deed yet, but you’re ready. You know it’s going to happen soon, and you’d like to create a little anticipation on his side with some hot texts. Here are some things you can say (feel free to modify to fit your own needs):
- The way you’ve been kissing me really turns me on…it’s time to do something about that.
- I had a dream about you last night…can I act it out with you later? 🙂
- You’ve been a perfect gentleman, but I’m ready to take it to the next level…
- If your kisses are any indication, I can imagine how hot you’d be in bed…
- I’m getting ready for our date. Which do you prefer? Red or black thong?
- I can’t stop thinking about how hot our first time will be…
- [in response to him asking what you’re doing] I’m in the tub…thinking of you…
…After You Have Sex for the First Time
So now you’ve been with this guy, and WOW. It was hot. And positive reinforcement yields positive results. In other words, tell him he did a great job and he’ll be back for more. Let him know you’re thinking about last night and you’ll get him hot and bothered…and ready for another opportunity to make you sweat!
- Damn. We make a hot couple in bed! I’m thinking I’m ready for round 2.
- Last night was just the beginning. Tonight you’ll be screaming my name…
- I just spilled wine all over myself. Wish you were here to lick it off.
- So…I’m a little sore from last night. But it was worth every toe-curling minute…
- No man has ever made me as wet as you did last night…
- I can’t stop thinking about that thing you did with your tongue…more, please!
- [don’t write words. Just send a sexy gif]
…After You’ve Been Together a Few Months
So the fires of passion have leveled off now that you’ve been dating a few months. You know each other better both emotionally and physically, and you’re more comfortable with the sexting messages you send to your boyfriend. Now’s the time to get more playful with them! It’s important to keep sending these sexy texts to continue to fuel the fire you’ve sparked together.
- I’m at work, but all I can think about is getting to your place and ripping your clothes off.
- Care to go lingerie shopping with me today? I’ll model.
- Meet me for a lunchtime quickie? My office has a lock (we can decide if we want to use it)
- My body misses you. My vibe can’t compete. Come over tonight.
- Do you have any clue what dirty things I want to do to you right now?
- Tonight I’m going to slowly undress you…tie you to the bed…and have my way with you all night long.
…After You’ve Been Together for Years
It’s even more important to keep the passion alive after you’ve been together for years because those initial infatuation hormones have worn off. But you’re in the true love phase of your relationship, and that can make your sex life incredibly powerful. Focus on being spontaneous with your texts and taking him by surprise when he least expects it.
- Meet me at home in 30 minutes. You’ve been bad and need to be punished.
- [if you’re together at a bar] Would anyone notice if we slipped away and f#%!ed in the bathroom, do you think?
- I’m picking up cake for dessert. Care to eat it off of my naked body?
- Do you want to know my fantasy?
- I didn’t get enough of you this morning. Let’s go for round 2 tonight.
- I’m looking at a pic of you with your shirt off and it’s making me wet.
- Tonight, you’re all mine and you do what I say 🙂
- Let’s break the bed (again) tonight!
- I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Will you punish me?
After you try out a few of these sexting messages to send to your boyfriend, you’ll become more at ease at using them to heat up your relationship…particularly if he responds positively! And what man wouldn’t? After all, here’s a woman who, in the middle of the day, is telling him how much she wants him! Sexting can help you claim your sexual power and boost your confidence: two things I think every woman really needs!
I hope that these sexts inspire you to come up with your own messages and that they help feed the fires of passion for you.
Share in the comments below: what result have you gotten with sending sexts to your man? Has it resulted in hot sex?
And if you want even more hot texts you can copy and paste, download the Love Texting Report.
You’ve been dating this man for a while, and you admit: you’re falling for him. But is this infatuation or something more serious? You’re looking for signs that he’s your soulmate to understand if your search for Mr. Right is over.
I get that you want hard evidence that this man is meant for you. After all, you’ve been through a lot at this point in your life. Maybe you’re divorced. Maybe you’re a single mom. Maybe you’ve kissed so many frogs that you’ve just about given up the idea that there’s someone out there that’s perfect for you.
Then this guy comes along…
…and suddenly all the pain and heartbreak you’ve been through seems like it might have all been worth it. But can you be sure? Not to worry, sexy, single lady. We’re going to walk through soulmate signs so you can figure out if this is the relationship you were meant to have.
What is a Soulmate?
Experts have a few opinions on where the term and concept of a soulmate came from. Many attribute it to Greek myth, saying that, at one point, men and women were united, but out of jealousy, the god Zeus split them apart, and now we spend our lives looking for our matches.
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter in the early 1800s: “To be happy in Married Life … you must have a Soul-mate.”
Google “what is a soulmate,” and you’ll get dozens of answers. I believe that the definition has to be a personal one. For me, I can boil down what a soulmate is into a simple formula:
best friend + attraction = soulmate
Yes, you may have a female best friend or two, but your true soulmate is someone you can’t imagine your life without…plus you’re incredibly attracted to him. And that attraction turns into a deep love that never fades.
But that’s just my definition. You might have your own, so as you read this article, consider what the term “soulmate” means to you.
Are Soulmates a Real Thing?
So maybe you’re of the skeptical school of love and think the idea of having a soulmate is balderdash. You might be surprised to hear that you’re in the minority on that: about 66% of Americans believe in the concept of soulmates. Of course, science can’t prove that soulmates are a tangible thing, so you’ll have to decide whether to put stock into the idea or not.
I personally don’t believe that there’s only one person out there for you, but I do believe that when you meet the right person, it truly feels like they are touching your soul.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you believe in soulmates or not. If you find someone who you love, and who returns that love equally, isn’t that what’s important?
Difference Between a Soulmate and Everyone Else
Whatever your definition is, the person who is your soulmate will be unlike anyone you’ve ever known. Once you find your soulmate, you will look back on every past relationship and realize that it paled in comparison to this one.
You’ve probably experienced lust for someone at some point. Lust is driven primarily by sexual desire. While you will be hot for your soulmate, it’s more than lust. It’s an intimate emotional and physical connection that you don’t get with a hookup.
It can be confusing to know if someone is your soulmate if you believe you love them. It’s a fact: you can love someone without them being your soulmate. You’ll only realize later that, while you loved your ex, it wasn’t as deep as a soulmate relationship. The connection goes deeper with a soulmate, and sometimes you can’t know that a past relationship wasn’t with a soulmate until you truly find the right person for you.
Here are 27 Soulmate Signs to Watch for in a Relationship
1. The Love Doesn’t Dwindle After the Infatuation Stage
I’ve written before about the different stages of a relationship. The first one is Attraction and Romance, or, Infatuation. This stage feels awesome…but it’s superficial. You don’t know the man you’re dating well enough to know whether he’s exhibiting soulmate signs yet…and there’s a good chance that infatuation will wear off and you’ll start to be annoyed by his flaws more.
But when you’re with your soulmate, you feel this silly, goofy, fiery passion and love for him long past the infatuation. You go through the other stages, where you struggle to find your footing in the relationship, and then really establish your long-term partnership…and that love is still going strong.
2. You Feel Like You’ve Known Him Forever
Without getting too woo-woo on you, let me say that some people believe that your soulmate is someone you knew and loved in a past life. It’s a beautiful concept, isn’t it? To imagine that you keep finding and falling in love with the same amazing person in life after life?
Not buying into it? Oh well…me neither.
Regardless of your take on past lives, you just feel like you know this guy, even if you’ve only been with him a few months. He feels familiar in a way that no other man ever has. And you like that feeling.
3. You Trust Him
Part of feeling like you know someone well is also trusting him. This may surprise you, especially if you believed you had trust issues because of past heartbreak. But because this man feels so familiar, you find it easier to be vulnerable and open with him, and that is a great foundation for a long and fantastic relationship.
I know at the start of a relationship, you can often feel wobbly and afraid that things won’t work out, especially if your last few (or dozen) attempts at love didn’t pan out. But with this man, you just trust that it’s going to work out. And that feels pretty damn great, doesn’t it?
4. You Finish Each Other’s Sentences
Maybe you get on your friends’ nerves with how you finish each other’s sentences. Who cares? It’s your soulmate!
When you know each other so well (even if it’s been a short time), it can feel like magic to know what he’s going to say before he says it…and vice versa.
You also probably have lots of little inside jokes that no one else gets or thinks are funny. That’s part of knowing one another inside and out!
5. You “Get” Him Like No One Else
This guy just makes sense to you. It might be his OCD way of getting ready for bed that you understand is necessary for a good night’s sleep…or why he hates spiders. Whatever the “thing,” you get it. You accept his quirks and personality traits as part and parcel of who he is.
Others may question the things he does, or write them off as silly, but you’re quick to defend him, knowing that there’s a reason for everything he does. He doesn’t even need to explain it to you because you understand.
6. You Can Read Him Without Words
He walks through the door after work, and instantly, without a word needed, you know what kind of mood he’s in and what he wants. Maybe you sense that he’s had a hard day and needs some alone time. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, tell him you just bought some beer, and head to another room so he can be alone.
At the same time, he can read you, too! That means you can never keep things from this man. He’ll read in your face that you’re hiding something. That’s why soulmate relationships are so strong: they don’t keep secrets (they can’t!). It may take some getting used to, having someone know what mood you’re in without saying a word, but you’ll grow to love the feeling.
7. Your Intense Feelings Last
While sure, even soulmates go through infatuation, one of the soulmate signs is that those intense feelings of love don’t vanish. Even after you’ve moved in together, fought over the laundry, and seen him at his most un-flattering, you still fiercely love this man. You understand that a soulmate relationship means good and bad, and the negative times don’t dampen the feelings that you have for him.
8. You Have Incredible Chemistry
You’ve had chemistry with men before, but nothing like this. I’m guessing you primarily had physical chemistry, but did you realize there are two other types that are essential for the perfect chemical equation?
Physical chemistry is easy. It happens when you are attracted to someone and find it hard to stay away. It may lead to sex…and doesn’t guarantee that it will lead to anything more.
But when you add in intellectual and spiritual chemistry, two other soulmate signs, you’re looking at soulmate material.
Intellectual chemistry happens when the conversation just flows. If you’ve dabbled in online dating, you know that doesn’t always happen. You might swipe right on a man’s profile whom you find physically attractive…but then the conversation, which consists of a lot of “hey, what’s up?” and “how was your day,” just falls flat.
But with your soulmate, you find it easy to talk about any and everything. You find yourself staying up late to talk on the phone or shut down the restaurant because you’ve stayed past closing time.
Spiritual chemistry is a little harder to define. Saba May, says, “It goes beyond opinions and beliefs – although they can be part of it. Spiritual chemistry is when you see life through a similar existential lens; your hearts are at home because you value the same things: kindness, generosity, loyalty, friendship.”
When you find the unique combination of all three of these types of chemistry, you know you’ve found something special.
9. You Love Him Unconditionally
He’s made mistakes. He has flaws. He even gets on your nerves sometimes…
But you still 1,000% love him.
It’s easier to say what unconditional love isn’t than what it is. It’s not love based on parameters like “I’ll love him when he finally gets a job” or “if he’d stop going out with the guys so much, I’d be happier and love him more.”
No matter what he does or how he acts, you accept that as part of the relationship and your love. And he does the same for you.
10. You Feel Safer Than You Ever Have
If you’ve been single for a while after a messy divorce or breakup, you may have had to create your own cocoon of safety since you could no longer rely on a relationship for that security. So it may feel strange to you to have a man in your life that totally envelops you (physically and emotionally) and essentially says, “it’s okay. You can lean on me. You’re safe.”
For most women, this is a relief. If you’ve been running your household and/or raising kids, you’ve been completely independent. No, you don’t need a man, but it is nice to have a partner that you can lean on when you need him…and you can return the favor when he needs it.
11. He Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself
You like to think you have a poker face, but he sees right through you. You’re shocked at how well he sees you and knows you, and you’re glad for the advice he gives you. That’s what the people who are close to you do, right? See you for who you are and guide you to better decisions.
12. He Challenges You (in a Good Way)
Finding your soulmate is fabulous, but don’t expect that life will be all cupcakes and kitties as a result. Because he knows you better than you know yourself, he’s never going to let you half-ass anything in life. And you will be glad when he pushes you to work harder.
Let’s say you’re complaining about your job a lot. He tells you to find a new one. All you wanted to do was complain (for the rest of your life?) but you realize that he’s pushing you to make a change to be happier. And you’re glad for the motivation.
13. You Have Many of the Same Values
You and your soulmate probably aren’t identical in your interests (that would be so boring!), but you are aligned in important values. What kind of values?
- How you see the world
- Possibly politics
- Whether you want children or not
- Whether you want to be (re)married or not
These are intangibles that are more important to share than specifics like playing tennis or liking Game of Thrones. These are values that likely won’t change over time, so if you’re aligned in them, it’s a great start to your relationship, and one of the soulmate signs to watch out for.
14. You Act as a Team
Look, I know you’re not some Disney princess waiting to be saved by Prince Charming. And that’s not what finding your soulmate is about. It’s really about finding a teammate. A partner who will share his load in your relationship.
Sometimes things will be unbalanced. If you’re working overtime and are stressed to the gills, he’ll need to pick up the slack around the house and provide you with emotional support. But if his grandmother dies, you’ll be in the role of supporter and nurturer. Over time, however, it balances out.
15. You’re Secure in the Relationship
Looking back at past relationships, did you worry a few weeks or months in that things were going to fall apart? History told you they would, right? So you tiptoed around, avoiding arguments or situations that might rock the boat.
Then what happened?
It ended anyway. Because those relationships weren’t meant to be. You hadn’t met your soulmate yet.
So now that you’ve found him, you’re surprised that you’re not worried about things ending. You feel secure that this is the relationship you’ve been waiting for, and that, my dear, is one of the soulmate signs.
16. The Story of How You Met is Special (to you)
Every soulmate meeting story I’ve heard has been awe-inspiring. Some people I know knew their soulmates long before they became a couple…and it took them years to see what was in front of them! (Cute Harry and Sally!)
No matter what your meet-cute story is, even if you met through an app, you will never forget it…or the sparks that it induced.
17. Now You GET What Love is Supposed to Be
When you were 9, you knew you found your one true love…
…when you were 16, you knew THEN that this boy was the one…
…when you were 21, you realized, no, THIS is what love is all about.
But after your divorce or breakup, you started doubting love altogether. But here is your soulmate, and it feels completely different from any love or infatuation you’ve ever felt. It all makes sense now.
18. He Makes You Want to Be a Better Version of You
Allow me to go a little Oprah on you for a minute with these soulmate signs. The right people in our lives make us want to be better. Do better. There’s nothing wrong with working to improve ourselves and our lives.
And let me clarify here: you’re not trying to improve because he’s criticizing you and telling you your flaws. He just inspires you. Maybe he runs marathons and you’re a couch potato, but he inspired you to start jogging and try your first 5k (with him by your side).
19. You Realize Past Relationships Were Just Infatuations
Now, just because you’ve found your soulmate doesn’t mean that you never loved any of the men you were in relationships with, but you may be able to see more clearly that at least some of them were infatuations. You can’t know what you don’t know, and if at the time, infatuation felt like love, you had no point of reference to tell you otherwise. Now you do.
20. You Can Completely Be Yourself
It can be scary letting your hair down early in a relationship, for fear that you’ll be judged for your own quirkiness. But with a soulmate, you never have to worry about that.
Some people find that they lose their sense of identity in a relationship, and that can be detrimental to that relationship. There’s a psychological concept called differentiation that I want you to know about. It refers to finding a balance between connecting with your partner and maintaining your separate sense of self.
When this is out of whack, you may keep quiet about issues that bother you, for fear of starting an argument. Or you might put his needs ahead of yours. When you’re in a relationship with your soulmate, this isn’t an issue because, while you’re close, it’s easy for both of you to be independent individuals without becoming absorbed into the “we.”
21. You Just KNOW
Don’t you hate it when you used to ask a girlfriend how she knew her man was The One and she said, with a dreamy, far-off look in her eyes, “I just KNEW!”
Now you get it, right?
You can’t quantify why you believe this man is your soulmate, but you feel it in your bones. Trust your instinct!
22. You’re Both Willing to Work Through Rough Patches
When you were in your 20s, you’d break up with a guy at the first sign of stormy weather. But you’re older and wiser now, and this relationship is worth a few bumps in the road. Neither of you is afraid to work through issues. You know they’re part of a long life together, and you’re willing to put in the effort.
23. You Want to Make One Another Happy
Another one of the soulmate signs is happiness. One day, you agree to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant (even though you’re not a fan), and the next, he skips the game to hang out with you. A soulmate relationship is about positive compromise, where you both work to make the other happy. It’s never, ever one-sided.
24. You Aren’t Jealous
Maybe in past relationships, you found yourself a little jealous if your man spent time with other women, or even his guy friends, but you’re so confident in this relationship, that the green-eyed monster is nowhere to be found.
25. You’re Not Afraid to Speak Your Mind
Because you know you’re both in it for the long haul, you are relaxed enough to tell him what’s on your mind, even if he is likely to disagree. You trust him and the relationship enough to know that it won’t destroy things to be honest. In fact, it will make them better.
26. You Truly Listen to One Another
You’ve struggled with active listening in the past, but you find it easy to do with your soulmate. You give him your undivided attention because he gives you his when you’re talking. The result? You both hear and understand one another.
27. You’re Happy Doing Nothing With Him
You could be reading a book on opposite ends of the couch, and you’d still feel like you were spending quality time with him. Your days of constantly needing stimulation every week have come to an end…though you still make time to dress up for one another for date nights every few weeks.
I’m guessing by now that you’re excited that your relationship exhibits so many of these soulmate signs, and you’re thrilled to realize all the time you’ve spent seeking the right man for you have come to an end.
Congratulations! You’re lucky in love.
Which of these soulmate signs spoke to you the loudest? Share in the comments below.
Haven’t found your soulmate yet? Get a little boost with my free Attract the One workshop. Space is limited, so sign up now.
These are the messages you’re sending out with a high quality leather bag.
Often times– they’re fantastic icebreakers at specialist or networking events.
But … are all natural leather bags produced equal?
Sadly– the horror stories exist.
Male invest $1,000 on a natural leather bag and also 6 months later on:
The natural leather starts fracturing
The stitching comes reversed
The equipment starts to corrosion
There are points to look out for prior to getting leather bags.
This post is meant to highlight the bottom lines to take into consideration prior to you take out your purse.
Their leather bags are complete grain vegetable tanned leather. Also Known As– the very best you can get & far superior to “genuine leather”. Their layouts are vintage passionate & marginal + functional. They are made to last a life time.
Since they are a straight to customer deluxe natural leather bag firm— their rates are incredibly cost effective for the top quality. As well as they are made right here in the U.S.A..
Reference in the notes section that RMRS sent you as well as you will get a totally free front pocket budget with the purchase of any kind of bag (Limited to 1 per consumer to the very first 20 consumers & runs out on December 12, 2016).
Go here to look into the incredible bags from Jackson Wayne.
1. Kind Of Leather Utilized
Like shoes and also leather jackets, you intend to choose a bag that’s constructed from complete grain natural leather. It’s top-notch natural leather that looks even more fantastic after years and years of usage.
The most effective leathers develop an appealing patina– a weathered, sheeny appearance which a material gets through aging. The higher the top quality, the better the patina. It’s not something you’ll obtain with greatly dealt with natural leather or other lesser grades.
Avoid bags that are made from bonded natural leather. These bags really utilize scrap items of natural leather which have been remodelled with chemicals and also plastics into a second-rate variation of leather.
It doesn’t age well or have that distinct, good leather odor. It’s rather typical these days and sales people attempt to advertise them as genuine natural leather products. Beware– they come at low prices yet are not value for money.
2. Tanning Process
The leathers made use of for bags and instances aren’t prepared similarly. You require to recognize the distinctions between 2 major tanning procedures: chrome tanning and veggie sun tanning (specifically given that they impact the rate).
For chrome tanned natural leather, the procedure involves chromium and also various other extreme chemicals. It’s finished in a number of days– which is why their items are always cheap. Chrome tanned leather accounts for about 90% of the leather market.
Then we have vegetable tanned leather. It’s created in an environment-friendly means, unlike chrome tanned leather. The term “vegetable” refers to the natural materials that are utilized while doing so (such as tree bark).
Here the cowhides experience a pre-tanning stage in which they are rehydrated with all the hair got rid of. Each conceal is reduced right into 2 items called “sides”– which are after that taken into big barrels and also full of all-natural tannins. For a number of weeks– not days– they are taken in tanning liquor.
Since the whole process is longer, many vegetable tanned natural leather items tend to be thicker as well as stiffer than chrome tanned natural leather ones (however get softer at some point when the natural leather breaks in). That’s why vegetable sun tanning works best for higher end bags. The leathers transcend to their chrome tanning counterparts in character, sturdiness and also holding capacity. They’re known for their traditional leather scent in addition to exceptional patina.
One firm I recognize that makes use of veg sun tanning is Jackson Wayne. In a globe of items from both extremes– pricey designer options as well as economical top quality ones– their bags are a breath of fresh air. Jackson Wayne natural leather bags are designed with excellent design and also capability. They’re likewise economically priced.
These people have an amazing quality assurance process that assures long-lasting baggage. They also supply a life time guarantee that covers any kind of issues you may encounter with their items (but the opportunities of those are quite slim!).
3. Country Of Origin & Making.
A lot of times, the beginning of the natural leather figures out the top quality of the bag. We know of some nations that frequently generate top quality natural leather like Italy, England, France and also the US. History reveals that those nations have a great performance history of tanning natural leather well.
Yet nowadays you require a little bit even more discernment– particularly when it concerns tags. There are firms which try to maximize the “Italy” track record by doing all the work in one more nation and also merely completing the natural leather in Italy. After that they mark the product as Italian leather– which is how they sell chrome tanned natural leather or low-quality leathers at higher rates.
You’ll wish to keep an eye out for costs natural leather– where the conceal selection and sun tanning are all executed in Italy or various other trusted countries. You can only trust individuals there to have fantastic skill and also attention to detail throughout the bag making process.
Jackson Wayne uses premium vegetable tanned leather from an American Tannery that’s been in business since 1867.
4. Durability & Handwork.
The most effective natural leather bags originate from the most durable natural leathers. They’re specialist artworks– it’s not just about putting various components with each other. Two things need to be involved: (1) a mindful selection of leather and also (2) exact sewing.
The optimal bag can hold a specific weight and be walked around without being deteriorated at all. That’s why the grain is vital– full-grain leather makes the most sturdy bags. But top-grain leather is a more budget friendly alternative that likewise works.
The sewing on a bag should be right, barely recognizable as well as with no loosened strings. It’s important that you check the inner and outer surfaces for this uniformity.
The handles must additionally be attached to the body through enhanced sewing or metal components. You don’t want those manages glued to the bag– they’re at threat of obtaining loose or coming off.
Prior to you buy a natural leather bag, examine the quality of all the little parts. It always assists to analyze the details from each side of the bag. These are the attributes you ought to pay attention to:.
- Metallic rings.
- Shoulder band installations.
- Zippers (keep in mind that steel zippers are of much better quality than plastic zippers).
For bags to acquire online– zoom in on the photos so you can have a look at the private parts. Additionally keep in mind to look at (or request for) images that reveal the bag with its zipper closed and open.
Right here’s a break down of the typical natural leather bag shades and also the environment each: black, dark brown, tan and light brown.
Black and also dark brown are best fit for expert atmospheres. They predict a feeling of authority as well as power. Tan as well as lighter brownish go well with an extra laid-back or relaxed working environment.
One of the most formal option is black, as it matches suits of all shades. Yet bear in mind that dark brown (chocolate) natural leather is another ideal option. This color can stay very sophisticated and also elegant also after a years.
Avoid bags which have greater than 2 different shades or have sewing with a contrasting shade. These bags are viewed as flamboyant. A solitary shade would certainly be the most safe bet.
Lastly, you ought to think about the kind of declaration you wish to make with your bag. The design ought to be ideal for your occupation.
The bag itself must do what you require it to do. The appropriate selection can take your design and also image to the next level. It assists you make an effective statement any place you go.
According to that– it is very important to recognize the differences in between a briefcase and a messenger bag.
This is useful for lawyers, accounting professionals, designers, medical professionals, service people and also other experts that transport documents/laptops to and also from the workplace.
It’s the best selection to come with a fit that you’re using to function or for a meeting.
An attaché situation is a smaller sized lavish case that can be made use of to take a couple of records or a laptop computer into a conference or presentation, without the requirement for a full sized brief-case.
This is less official and more functional than a briefcase.
It’s implied to be carried over the shoulder or go across body.
It works wonderful for casual work environments or when taking a trip for a vacation.
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Whether you’ve already been married once (or more) to the wrong husband or whether you are still looking to find a husband for the first time, I’m here to help. But first…
There’s a quote from Jim Rohn that I love:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
This is very true! The people around us have an incredible impact on our life. They influence our happiness, our decision-making, what we do, why we do it…
It really is the key to success in life to surround ourselves with great people. Take a moment to consider the people you have around you and how they influence you in all aspects of your life.
I’ll take this idea a step further and say: You become the average of the person you marry.
That person, your husband, should help make you your best self. You should continually want to give to them and be a part of a powerful partnership.
That’s why you don’t want to marry the wrong person! It is truly the most important decision you will ever make in your life. So allow me to share three steps to find a husband—the RIGHT husband—for you!
P.S. No one said you had to go on this journey alone. My free webinar will help you project the kind of confidence that will attract a man who is wild to marry you. Sign up asap!
How to Find a Husband Who Will Treat You Right
When you were a little girl, you might have dreamed of a big wedding and a fluffy white dress. But did you really put thought into the man who would be your husband? (Maybe you envisioned Kirk Cameron or Leonardo DiCaprio, or whoever your celebrity crush was back then).
Maybe you had the big wedding and big dress but then realized a few years later that you’d married the wrong man.
In no way do I want you to take that to mean that Mr. Right isn’t still out there for you. Maybe your first marriage or long-term relationship was right in that moment, but it’s no longer right for who you are now. The good news is: if you start aligning yourself with the idea of finding the right husband, I guarantee you’ll find him!
1. Get to Know Yourself First
It doesn’t matter whether you’re 20 or 50: some people get married way too quickly. Maybe they’re desperate to settle down or maybe there’s another reason they rush to the altar, but the problem is: these marriages are less likely to last.
Two researchers at Emory University, Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, studied 3,000 married couples in the U.S. to determine the factors that predicted divorce. Among other factors, they looked at how long a couple dated before getting engaged and found that those who dated 1-2 years before getting engaged were 20% less likely to get divorced. Those that dated 3 or more years were 39% less likely to divorce later.
Given the technological breakthroughs in science, you might live to be 120 years old, so what’s the rush? Waiting a few years to get to know your mate, get to know yourself, and get to know one another as a couple will only strengthen your marriage and ensure that it lasts.
When you’ve got a lot going on in your life, including adjusting to being in a relationship, it’s not a good time to make major life decisions about getting married or even having kids. I know a couple who dated for 3 months before moving in together. Three months later, they took a big international trip together…and now they just got engaged. I’m hoping they take a year or more before they actually tie the knot so they have time to settle into being a couple first. This is moving way too fast.
I remember in my 20s, I had a ton going on. I was launching Sexy Confidence, I was speaking all over the country about dating and relationships, I was riding motorcycles and kite surfing…I was a busy dude. I remember avoiding serious relationships because I understood that the man I was then wasn’t the man I would be down the road. I was still growing and getting to know myself. I felt that it wouldn’t be fair to take someone for that rollercoaster ride until I was truly ready to settle down.
When I entered my 30s, that’s when my life settled down. Lo and behold, that’s when I met Jessica…and now we are happily engaged.
So my advice to you, despite how ready you are to find a husband, is to take your time, both being single and being in a relationship that might end up in marriage. The more time you take, the more you can understand yourself and how this major decision will impact you long-term. There’s no rush!
2. Look for Your Best Friend in a Partner
In my Attract “The One” Academy Class, I always say that you want to find a partner who is the best friend that you are attracted to. I say that because, after a few years of being hot and heavy and having physical attraction be the primary driver of your relationship, 99.9999% of your relationship will be based on a solid friendship. You will have this incredible bond that goes deeper than just a physical relationship (don’t worry! You’ll hopefully still have that, too), and that’s the foundation for a fantastic marriage.
Sadly, so many people are distracted by lust in the early months of a relationship and don’t think to look for a potential friendship in the people they date. That never turns out well.
Statistically speaking, the #1 cause for divorce is basic incompatibility (43% divorces are because of this). I think that’s because early on, we aren’t looking for compatibility. We are just following our emotions and feelings, and because those are often driven by physical attraction, this strategy can lead you astray.
Consider what qualities you want in a best friend. You may have a platonic best friend who you can use as a model to help you find a husband who will also be your best friend…with benefits! Maybe it’s important for you to have someone who supports you when you take risks, like starting a business. Maybe you want someone who shares your love of marathons. Know what you want in a best friend, and that will help you find it in a potential partner.
3. Have Critical Conversations Before Tying the Knot
Another top reason for divorce is…you guessed it…money issues! Twenty-two percent of marriages end because couples fight over money (been there?). Do not wait until you are married to have important discussions about money, whether you want kids, where you want to live, and other topics that will significantly impact your marriage.
Do you have $130,000 in student loans that he doesn’t know about? Don’t wait until the honeymoon to tell him.
Does he like to take you out for steak dinners every Thursday night on his $45,000 salary? Don’t wait until you have a mortgage and kids to address his spending problem.
You might be nervous to discuss finances because you have debt or can’t stick to a budget to save your life, but I assure you: he won’t leave you because of it. But you do need to discuss your financial situation as well as your relationship with money before you get married to ensure that your marriage is set up for financial success.
What kind of debt do you have? Are you a spender or a saver? Who will manage the finances in the relationship? Will you share a bank account? These are all questions to discuss while you’re dating.
If you thought my tips on how to find a husband were going to give you the address of a place full of eligible men, sorry to disappoint. But the key to finding a relationship that will last the rest of your life is to know who you are and what you want, be ready for that level of commitment, and have open lines of communication in your relationship.
You also have to ensure that the man you’re dating is ready for a commitment like marriage. The last thing I want you to do is latch onto the next man you date and decide that he’s your future husband if he in no way is right for you or ready for that. Keep your eyes open to signs in the relationship that it’s progressing toward both long-term commitment and then marriage. Ask him early on whether he wants to get married (or married again) before it becomes a loaded question in your relationship. If he tells you he will never, ever get married, you should believe him rather than trying to change him and getting your heart broken in the process.
Talk to our Sexy Confident ladies in the comments below: are you looking to find a husband that is your best friend and best match? What are you willing to do to find him?
Give yourself this gift: sign up for my Attract “The One” Master Class and be on your way to finding that amazing marriage you’ve always wanted. It costs nothing but your time.
Do you sometimes feel like a frog hopping from lily pad to lily pad (consider those pads to be short-term relationships)…but find that every “lily pad” you jump to sinks like a rock? I hear you.
If the perfect guy, who you told all of your friends was The One, ended up ghosting you on the third date…I know how frustrated you are, especially because now you’ve got to start completely over with the 21st-century dating scene.
If you are just sick of the short term relationship pattern you’re stuck in, jumping from one disappointment to another, this video and article are for you.
You’re far from the only woman out there who’s ready to throw in the towel. It’s super frustrating at times! But before you completely give up hope, stick with me. I’m going to teach you how to finally attract a healthy, long term relationship. You’ll be so glad you came.
P.S. One reason you haven’t found a great long term relationship might be because you do all the chasing. In my Attract “The One” Workshop, I teach you how to get a great guy chasing after you. Sign up here.
I’ve helped thousands of women—maybe more—navigate the world of dating, particularly after divorce or the end of a long term relationship. And I have found one concept to be the cornerstone of my advice to all of them:
Find love by chasing principles, rather than by chasing pheromones.
Allow me to explain.
Why a Long Term Relationship Needs Principles
Principles are things we all have, that we use to guide us to make decisions. Merriam-Webster defines a principle as a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption, or a rule or code of conduct.
I’m sure you can think of your own principles. You probably have principles around your family life…whether you want a family…how much time you want to spend with your family…
You might have principles about religion. Are you religious or not? What religion do you follow? Is it important that your partner be the same religion?
You could have principles about politics…or the environment…whatever your principles are, they’re important to you, and they guide how you live. Your specific set of principles come from how you were raised, as well as your unique life experiences, and even your personality.
Use those principles that guide you to find someone who shares similar principles, and you set yourself up for relationship bliss.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT Clinician, author, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute, calls these shared principles of governance:
“These principles are, in essence, your Ten Commandments. Much like our shared belief in the Constitution, you must believe your shared principles will hold together over the long run, despite shifts and changes in love, lust, common interests, and all other ephemeral attractants. Depending on your imagination and forethought, your principles could include survival, thriving, trust, respect, admiration, radical loyalty, devotion, and a feeling of believing in something greater than the self.”
Why Pheromones Keep You Lily Pad Hopping
On the other hand, we have pheromones that we often let guide us in finding potential partners. Pheromones are simply chemicals we release to attract other humans sexually. For the sake of this article and video, I want to consider pheromones as just physical attraction. Before you can know if you share principles with someone or not, you make a snap judgment about whether you’re physically attracted to him. This is, of course, the basis for dating apps.
I don’t want to call you out, but I’m willing to bet you’ve chased after pheromones at least once in your life. Maybe there was that guy that you could. not. stay. away. from…even though you knew he was totally terrible for you. Maybe it was his dimples that drove you wild…his manly smell…or his biceps…whatever it was, you found it irresistible, despite your brain screaming that this was NOT the guy for you.
So let me break it down for you: you will continue to hop from lily pad to lily pad in short term relationships if you chase pheromones.
Who you are physically attracted to has very little correlation to your future happiness in that relationship. Even worse, as that relationship develops, the intensity of that initial attraction will diminish. And then all you’re left with is a big pile of nothing. A sinking lily pad.
And that, my dear, is why you should instead focus on understanding a man’s principles and finding a guy who shares yours.
While attraction will fade over time, principles tend to stay fairly steady throughout life. And when you find a long term relationship with a man who shares your principles, you’ll find that those principles grow stronger together.
If he’s a family man now, he’ll likely always be a family man. If he’s spiritual now, it’s likely he will be spiritual in the future. If he believes in helping people and the world, he’ll keep on.
And…if he’s a selfish jerk who hates kids…what do you think he’ll be like in 10 years?
Identifying Your Principles for a Long Term Relationship
Okay, so you’re ready to admit that you need to change your approach to finding a long term relationship, and you’re willing to push aside those pheromones in favor of principles. But what if you don’t know what your principles are…or which matter in dating?
Think about the kind of long term relationship you want. Really visualize what it will be like. Not so much “my love will have jet black hair and piercing eyes…” focus on what the day-to-day, as well as the big picture will be like.
Do you want kids? Or would you mind ending up with a man who already has kids?
Would you like him to share your love of volunteering, or talking about politics?
Do you want to get re/married, or would you be happy living together?
Does he need to be vegan if you are?
What are dealbreakers in a relationship for you?
Questions like these help you focus on those principles you have and care about, even if you’ve never identified them as such.
How to Be Guided By Principles, Not Pheromones
I get that attraction is a huge part of dating. Researchers have found, over and over again, that we tend to pursue relationships with people we find physically attractive.
But I need you to realize that attractions and pheromones are only part of the relationship puzzle. Sure, swipe on those apps based on looks…but also read their profiles, because you can get at least a basic sense of who might have similar principles. A guy who says “I’m at the beach 24/7. #PartyLife!” on his dating profile is probably not looking to settle down.
When you go on dates, ask questions to understand what this man’s principles are, particularly as they relate to a potential long term relationship. It’s actually pretty difficult to have a getting-to-know-you conversation and not pick up on at least a few principles. Here are some topics that will help you:
- What he’s passionate about
- His family upbringing
- What he does in his spare time
- What he’s looking for
But also read between the lines, because you can learn a lot about a guy that way. I have a friend who went on several dates with a man who seemed like a perfect gentleman. But on several occasions, he’d tell a story that made him look like a total jerk. One story was about an argument he got into with his neighbor, and he laughingly told my friend how he called the neighbor names that I won’t even repeat here.
My friend realized that this man didn’t share her principle of treating others kindly, and she knew there was no future with him, so she ended things.
I realize this may be a very different approach to dating and love than you’ve taken in the past, but if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, what do you have to lose?
I also want to tell you that you should never compromise your principles. It won’t work. My friend who was dating the closet jerk tried to brush his stories aside, but they bothered her. She knew that he didn’t align with her principles, and when she finally admitted this to herself, the relationship was over.
Don’t let a guy steamroll your principles with his own. If you’re vegan, for example, and you don’t typically mind if people eat meat in front of you, don’t let a man start lecturing you about how dumb veganism is.
You don’t need that, and you know he’s not Mr. Right if he’s already criticizing your principles.
It should make you happy to realize that there is someone out there who shares your principles! Your love and future life together will be so much sweeter for being in sync about the way you think!
Talk to me in the comments below: what top principle do you want a man to share with you?
If you’re ready to find that long-term relationship with a man who shares your principles, hop on my free Attract “The One” Webinar, because I designed it specifically for you!
Does this ring a bell? You start a new relationship, and at first, it’s looking like everything is going well. It’s like you two were created to be together. It’s magic and sparkles. You can’t get enough of one another.
Just three short months later, your relationship has turned into something resembling the demonic plague [cue scary music]. It’s not pretty. What started out beautiful has turned into an utter sh$% show, and you’re clueless as to what happened.
If your relationships tend to go from rom-com to horror movie when they hit month three, then you’re in the right place.
Trust me when I say you’re far from alone if you’re cursed with having three-month relationships before things go sideways. It’s a thing, and there are a few reasons for it that we’ll get into in this article. Once you know the cause, you can fix the problem. Trust me.
P.S. Part of the solution is attracting the right guy who will want far more than three months with you. Sign up for my Attract the One workshop to find him.
The Curse of the Three-Month Relationship
I went through this curse of the three-month relationship myself during my 20s. And I’ll be honest: I was okay with it. I got to date and meet lots of interesting people, and it gave me insight into what I really wanted in life and love.
Later, of course, that changed, and I began to want a more serious relationship. Lucky for me I met Jessica, and four years later she said “yes”.
As for you, you might not be in in a place where a three-month relationship is enough for you. Maybe you’ve been around the block a few times. Maybe even been married or in a long relationship. Had kids. Been hurt. Or maybe you’re just ready.
If you’re at a point in life where you want something more long-term and serious, having things fall apart at three months can be crazy frustrating. But not to worry! I’m going to identify three mistakes you can avoid to get over that three-month hump.
Mistake #1: You’re Only Chasing Sexual Energy
If you find that your relationships start strong…
…you get completely swept off of your feet…
…and the sex is amazing…
…and you want to spend all your time with this guy…this might be a problem for you. You probably aren’t thinking about any other aspects of your compatibility with this man or even whether you really actually like him (versus the thought of him).
Once you realize that you have nothing in common other than your sexual chemistry, things will fizzle, and that’s usually around the three-month mark.
If you’re looking for long-term potential, it’s really important that you keep yourself in check in those first three months of the relationship. Sure, great sex is amazing, but it’s not everything.
Keep your head on straight and continually ask yourself whether this man would a good partner? Maybe a good husband or stepfather to your kids? Is he reliable? Do you want the same things in life? Is he as into you as you are him? Or does he just seem to want sex?
I find that people who have things end after a few months are way too focused on sexual energy and not the bigger picture. They ignore huge red flags that I think they would have seen if they were thinking clearly.
Here’s the thing: you want to find a guy who can be your best friend, but who you are also attracted to. Sexual energy can dwindle, and then you’re left with a friend (who you can have a relationship with) or someone you don’t actually like all that much. Which do you want?
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
One suggestion I have? Put off having sex with him until you’re sure that you like him for who he is with you and that you’re compatible as a couple. If he’s pushing you to get intimate sooner than you’re ready, he’s probably not looking for a relationship, so don’t even go down that path.
The right guy will be in no hurry to get in your pants, and he’ll be eager to simply get to know you for who you are. There’s nothing sexier than that!
2. You’re Moving Too Fast and Coming On Too Strong
I’ve heard it from so many of you Sexy Confident women, and I get it: you want a great relationship and you know what you’re looking for. But in those early days, you don’t want to have too many expectations like…
…he should be committed to you and only you within the first two weeks of dating…
…or that he’ll text you every single day…
…or that, because you’ve been dating a few months, he’s The One.
I have a good friend who’s looking for a long-term relationship, and she always seems to find amazing partnerships for the first month or so. She has a good time. Things go well, so she starts to build expectations about what’s coming next. Unfortunately, by month two or three, those expectations start killing the relationship. She gets annoyed at all the little things he does (or doesn’t do) because he’s not living up to what she expects.
He’s confused, thinking, “what’s going on here? I thought we were just getting to know one another.”
Things usually end at this point, because neither of them is getting what they want.
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
It’s important to try to let go of those expectations, particularly early on where you really don’t know whether you’re right for one another. Licensed marriage and family therapist Irene Schreiner says:
“New relationships are very fragile and can easily fizzle. They don’t have the same foundation that long-term relationships have developed. As a result, unrealistic expectations can put too much burden on the new relationship, causing it to end prematurely.”
I know it’s a challenge, but try to just enjoy the ride rather than wanting it to go the way you have it scripted in your head.
3. You’re Afraid of Love and Sabotage the Relationship
You might be shaking your head.
“Adam, you’re crazy. I WANT to find love. Why would I sabotage things?”
You might say this, but your actions are telling me otherwise.
When you’ve had a traumatic experience in a past relationship—maybe you were cheated on or abused in some way, or simply had a man shatter your heart—it can undermine a potentially good thing. You may find a wonderful man and have a healthy relationship, but you still subconsciously poke holes in it until the relationship dies.
Then you blame the relationship, not yourself.
You may, deep down, not love yourself or think that you’re worthy of happiness in a relationship. If this resonates with you, come to terms with it. Take a look at your past, and face whatever personal heartache you’re harboring.
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
Realize that your past doesn’t equal your future, and just because you’ve been hurt, cheated on, or broken up with back then doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again. Don’t punish the man who could end up being perfect for you for someone else’s mistakes.
You are the common denominator in all your relationships. If you’re finding that, over and over again, you have a three-month relationship that ends for similar reasons, it’s time to work on yourself and find that internal happiness and love that will help you be whole for the right relationship.
You might have started reading this article thinking your curse of the three-month relationship wasn’t your fault, that it was always the guy. Maybe he was an emotional robot…or just wanted sex…or simply wasn’t right for you. But now you’re owning your role in the fact that you haven’t gotten past this 90-day period to build a solid and lasting relationship.
Congratulations. Owning that is huge. What you do from here is entirely up to you. But I suggest you look carefully at the mistakes you’ve made, whether it was chasing that sexual feeling, having high expectations too soon, or being too afraid of love to be open to it. See what you’ve done and change your approach the next time you start dating someone with true potential.
Talk to me and our Sexy Confident community in the comments below: what’s been the common cause of your three-month relationship curse? What are you going to do to break it?
Learn the three ways to attract a great man and a great relationship so you can get out of this three-month relationship curse with my free webinar where I’ll teach you how to make a man pursue you and only you.
The post The Curse of The Three-Month Relationship: Why It Never Lasts Longer appeared first on Sexy Confidence.
For many people especially iPhone fans, everything about the new iPhone 6 including the iPhone parts must be always interesting to check out. Therefore, it must be great to know the photos of the parts appear in the internet so that more about the new device can be confirmed. You know, many rumors regarding the new product by Apple has been appeared in the internet and the photos of the parts must answer some of the questions raised.
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About the photos of iPhone 6 parts
Well, the source where the photos of iPhone 6 parts appear shows us better clues toward how Apple makes the improvements to the new device. Starting from the camera, the photos show that this looks larger than what we can find in the previous model. It also shows the technology for the optical image stabilization. Regarding the two variants of the iPhone 6, it can be seen that there is a possibility that the smaller and bigger versions will have different camera modules. This information seems to give us the clue whether or not different variants will have different hardware including the camera as well as other parts of the new device.
Another important fact regarding the photos of the new iPhone 6 parts is the pictures of protective mesh. It is used for the speakers and the microphone holes. This gives us another important detail of the improvement done by Apple. Of course, we need to check out further pictures regarding the parts of the new iPhone 6 in order to get more details.
Do you think that the pictures of the iPhone 6 parts will lead you to hunt for the new product? If so, you should check other posts we have regarding the new device to know more about the new product by Apple.
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If you’re in your 40s or older, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to end up dating a divorced man at some point.
This is definitely a horse of a different color from the single young guys you may have dated in the past. So, I wanted to provide you with a video and article to help you navigate the world of getting to know a man who has experience in a long-term relationship…but who also may have his own baggage.
Given that I am a man…but not divorced…I wanted to find you the best expert on dating a divorced man I could find.
It turns out, I didn’t have to look far. My mother, Ann LoDolce, is a divorce attorney, so I tapped her infinite wisdom to help you!
P.S. You’re on a journey right now, and it’s one that will have both joys and frustrations. My How to Find Love After 40 workshop is the perfect guide to help you on your way. Sign up here.
If you’re divorced yourself, you’ll definitely appreciate the fact that things are different than they were when you were single. You may be a part-time parent, have an ex that you still argue with, or even still be reeling from the expense and emotional trauma caused by the divorce itself.
But regardless, you’re looking for love and you absolutely deserve it.
The same goes for dating a divorced guy: he may have a few things that make his life…well…less simple than you’d like, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a great candidate for the role of Mr. Right.
Here are some things you should be aware of if you’re going out with men who are divorced.
1. He Might Be Dishonest About the Reason for the Divorce
On your second or third date with a new guy who’s been divorced, you naturally might ask him what happened in his marriage.
One of three things will happen:
He’ll be totally honest about the reason (“We argued all the time. It was a toxic environment.”)
He’ll be a little squirrelly or vague about it (“It just wasn’t meant to be.”)
Or he’ll fib about it.
I know. That’s not what you want to hear. But my mom, who’s helped countless people navigate the tricky world of divorce, says that it’s a very unpleasant topic for most people, and you’ll often find in dating a divorced man, that he may not want to talk about it at all.
“But you need to know something about how it happened,” Ann says.
You don’t need to grill the guy on your first date, but if it seems to develop into a relationship, you deserve to know about his past experience for one reason: history repeats itself.
If he cheated on his wife or had anger issues, you need to be very concerned about how that might impact your relationship with him. While I don’t like to generalize with the whole “once a cheater, always a cheater“ saying, you have to take the possibility into consideration. Was it a one-time thing during a stressful period in his relationship, or was he a serial cheater?
If his ex-wife cheated on or hurt him, that may make it hard for him to open up to you and trust you fully. Can you handle his suspicion and jealousy?
2. His Ex Will Be Part of His Life
Ann says this is especially true if children are involved. If you’re dating a divorced man with kids, you’re dating the whole package…including, to some degree, the ex-spouse. If you end up living with him, you’ll likely be sharing custody of those kids and will have to co-parent with both your boyfriend and his kids’ mother.
You may even have to meet the ex at some point, which, while no fun, can help to establish a relationship with her and her children. This can make the transition to this new family dynamic a little easier.
Try not to be jealous of their relationship. He’s moved on from her and is with you. He will need to talk to her if they’re sharing custody of the kids, and that may take some getting used to. Allow time to adjust to this.
And if she’s overstepping, talk to him about establishing boundaries. Maybe she texts from the car when she arrives to pick up the kids rather than walking into the home you share.
3. He May Not Want to Get Married Again
When you’re dating a divorced man, even if he’s head over heels in love with you after a few months, you have to be aware that he may never want to get remarried.
If the divorce was messy, that may have traumatized him to the point of believing he never wants to go through it again. Of course, you’re thinking if you did get married, you wouldn’t get divorced, but he’s playing it safe and protecting his heart by shutting out the possibility of marrying again.
There are a few paths you can take here. If you’re okay being in a long-term relationship without being married, great.
But if you dream of marrying a guy like this, you can either be patient and hope that he eventually heals from his divorce trauma and decides you’re the wife he always wanted…or if you think he’ll never change his mind, you can let go and move on.
4. He Could Be Jaded About Relationships Altogether
“Sometimes the divorce makes it very difficult to trust, and the person might be seeing only the worst in everybody around him for quite a while,” Ann says.
This can be tricky. Sometimes we bring our past relationships into our new relationships. It’s baggage. You might have some of your own, I’m guessing.
Be aware that you may have your work cut out for you. If he’s genuinely worth it, start building trust from the start. Work to show him that you’re not his ex. That you’re someone entirely different and worthy of his trust and love.
He needs to—and will—be open to a new relationship, but it may take time, so have patience.
5. He Could Be a Great Match!
Ann says that just because a man is divorced doesn’t mean he’s flawed or damaged. Sometimes relationships end, even after marriage vows and decades. If he learned about himself and about relationships in the process, then he could be great relationship material for you.
As you get more dating experience under your belt, you’ll meet men who have never been married or who haven’t even been in a serious relationship longer than a few months. Conversely, dating a divorced man lets you know that at least he understands how marriages and relationships work, and more than likely he’s had to compromise, communicate, and work at a relationship.
All good things for you, Sexy Confident lady!
6. If the Divorce is Fresh, He May Not Be Ready to Date
If that’s the case, you’re wondering, why is he dating?
Maybe his friends are pushing him to “get back out there.” Maybe he wants to find his confidence again. Maybe he’s just looking for sex. But if he’s not ready for a relationship, you’ll never convince him otherwise.
So…how do you know if it’s too soon?
Ask him when he got divorced. If it was within the last couple of years, just tread lightly. Pay attention to whether he talks about his ex often (either wistfully or angrily; either could indicate he still has unresolved issues.).
If he’s only separated and not fully divorced, try to keep things light. The last thing you want to do is fall in love with a man who isn’t 100% available.
7. If He Has Kids, They Take Priority
If you have kids yourself, you totally get this. If not, you may feel like you’re vying for his attention when he’s focused elsewhere.
You won’t win that competition. He rightfully should be focused on his children, especially if they’re still healing and getting used to the post-divorce situation.
Wait as long as possible to meet his kids. Like, until you’ve exchanged the “L” word. Not only do you not want to enter these kids’ lives if there’s a good chance you’ll also be exiting soon, but you also don’t want to get attached to them and then have things not work out.
8. He May Be a Serial Monogamist
This isn’t flattering, I know, but some men are serial monogamists, moving from one long-term relationship to another. He may miss the stability and comfort of being married and may be looking for a relationship just to catch that vibe again.
It can be hard to spot a guy like this because you want a relationship too, and here’s a guy who seems keen to settle down with you. But if you don’t feel a 100% connection or things just seem off, despite him wanting to dedicate more and more time to you, realize that he may just want his next relationship, regardless of whether you’re the right fit or not.
9. He May Just Be Looking for a Warm Body
The converse is true, too. He may be on the opposite end of the spectrum, looking for nothing more than casual sex. After all, he was in a relationship for years or even decades. Now he’s ready to play!
If you’re aligned with this, then good luck to you. But if you’re hoping that your weekly hookups turn into a relationship, I’m going to say that you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. Find a man (divorced or otherwise) who is ready to commit to you.
10. He’s (Probably) a Responsible Human Being
If you’ve dated men who live in bachelor pads that look like they probably did 20 years ago…
…men who can’t cook anything other than ramen…
…and men who run at the first sign of emotional intimacy…
…you’ll be delighted at what you get when dating a divorced man. He knows how to set up autopay for his bills. He can make a mean chicken cordon bleu. He’s on track to retire early. He can even French braid his daughter’s hair.
This guy may restore your faith in men simply because he is one. He’s not a manchild or Peter Pan. He takes responsibility for his actions. He knows how to communicate in a relationship, open the door for his lady, and admit when he’s wrong.
Whether you’re divorced yourself or have just kissed a lot of the wrong frogs over the past few decades, remember what you’re looking for as you’re dating a divorced man.
“Be sensitive to your own needs, as well as his needs. It’s very, very important to keep in mind that you count as well as his needs,” Ann wisely says.
He may take more patience and effort than you expect, so make sure he’s truly worth it. Because trust me: you definitely are worth patiently waiting for the right guy for you!
Talk to me in the comments below: are you dating a divorced man? What issues or concerns have come up for you? What benefits have you seen?
Looking for love after 40? In my free webinar, you’ll learn the 3 strategies to attracting companionship during the best years of your life. Space is limited! Sign up here.
Before we get into talking about the games men play, allow me to present a couple of metaphors.
There’s this really fun board game that Jessica and I like to play. It’s called Pandemic. It’s fun because we work together trying to save the world from a plague.
The best part?
We are in it together: we both win or we lose the game together. It’s a fun collaborative process.
And, as a metaphor, this is how a relationship should be: both of you are putting effort into it. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s ok, so long as you were both trying your best to make it work.
Then there’s another type of board game (and relationship). Take Monopoly for example: there’s always one winner and one loser. Rather than being a collaborative game, this is a competitive game.
What’s good for you, isn’t good for the other person.
And sometimes relationships end up this way. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like a guy is always trying to get something from you, and you feel like he’s playing a game with you in order to get something, then this video and article will help you clue into that fact and tell you what to do about it.
P.S. Is he pulling away to play a game, or is something else going on? Check out my free webinar to discover the reasons good men pull away once they get close to you.
Games Men Play (and Why They Play Them)
Trust me: I know how frustrating it is to meet a guy who seems like a great fit for you. Maybe you met him online or through friends. But after a while, you feel like you’re in junior high, because he’s clearly playing with you like a boy would.
There are five games men play with women. I know you won’t believe me, but sometimes men play games unconsciously, not realizing exactly the harm they’re causing.
So why do they play them?
There are many reasons. A man may be insecure and want to hook a woman and get her chasing him. He may be unsure about whether he wants a relationship with you, and so he’ll run hot and then cold. He may honestly just be a player, stringing along multiple women.
It’s your job to determine whether he’s playing games with your head and decide whether he’s worth it (spoiler alert: he probably isn’t).
So here are the games men play and how to deal with each.
1. Can I Get Sex if I Keep Taking Her Out?
Sometimes a guy will feel like if he’s spending money on you, taking you out for dinner and drinks, then you should reciprocate by having sex with him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m not even sure why men started thinking this, but let me just say: sex should not be transactional.
If a man is making you feel guilty about all the money he’s spent on you and hinting that he wants “payment,” run away. Fast.
You should only have sex with a man you have a great connection with. Who you want to have sex with.
2. How Many Women Can I Juggle?
Some guys try to hook up with as many women as possible. You’d think this phenomenon would be limited to men in their 20s and 30s, but older men can do it too.
Dating apps have made this incredibly easy, unfortunately.
I’m ashamed to say that I know a few men who try to see how many women they can sleep with in a week.
Yes, it’s disgusting, but it happens, so you need to be aware of the fact.
If you get the sense that the guy you’re seeing is juggling multiple women, definitely do not sleep with him (hello? STDs, anyone?) and find someone better who wants to focus on just you.
3. Can I Get Laid Tonight?
Have you ever met a guy at a bar who you hit it off with? But then maybe if he tried to make a move on you, maybe kiss you, and you deflected him, did he walk away?
That probably left you confused because you thought that this might develop into something.
Sorry, dear, but you just got played. He was looking for nothing more than to get laid that night.
He wasn’t looking to date you.
He wasn’t looking for commitment.
He wasn’t looking to get married.
He wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.
I know it’s tough if you thought you felt a connection, but this man was a con artist who knew the way to your heart (and, he hoped, to your bed). Don’t feel bad. Just move on.
4. How Long Can I Keep Her Giving Me What I Want, Without Giving Her What She Wants?
You know the kind of men that play this game.
He tells you he wants to be with you. That there’s a great connection. That he wants to build something with you. But…
He’s never actually ready to commit.
He never calls you their girlfriend.
He just strings you along until he’s done.
This is what I call an emotional leach: he sucks your emotional energy from you but doesn’t give you anything back in return. Is that really the kind of man you want to build a life with?
No way! You deserve a man who gives as much as you do, who is an equal partner with you. Keep looking, because he’s out there.
5. How Can I Make Her Think She’s Crazy?
This is what’s known as gaslighting: manipulating you into thinking that YOU are the crazy one.
Here’s an example: let’s say you’re dating a guy and you have an exclusive relationship and you’re not dating other people. You notice a text go off on his phone from another girl, and it says “You’re really getting me going :)”
Because you’re a Sexy Confident woman, you don’t snoop to investigate on his phone, but you do ask him about it because it’s super inappropriate.
He says, “Oh that’s just someone from work. What are you doing looking at my phone? You’re being crazy. Stop that!”
Then you ask to see the text chain so you can understand the context of why she would say something that sounds so inappropriate.
His response? “No way. You’re just being insane and clingy. There’s nothing going on there.”
That’s gaslighting. He flat out lies (because in this scenario, he probably is cheating on you) and makes you think you’re the crazy bitch. Don’t buy into it. If your gut is telling you something’s up, don’t believe whatever he tells you, particularly if he turns it around to being your issue.
I wish that these weren’t the games men play, but I do hope that now you can more easily identify them when you’re the victim of one of them.
Dating shouldn’t be a game. It should be about getting to know a potential partner and deciding whether you’re compatible or not. But the good thing about men playing games, especially when you can quickly identify them, is that you don’t have to waste any more time on these guys, and you free yourself up for a man who is sincere and emotionally mature enough to be your partner.
Which of these games have men played on you? Let me know in the comments below.
Have you ever had a good man start to pull away from you once you got close? In my free webinar, I’ll teach you three mistakes you might be making so you can fix them and pull him close without manipulating him. Sign up today.
There’s this new phenomenon that’s happening right now in the world of dating.
It happens when a guy texts you and works hard to win you over…
…then when he finally gets you to respond positively, he doesn’t actually do anything about it.
He doesn’t ask you out.
He doesn’t want to see you.
He just wanted to get you to respond to him.
Talk about mixed signals.
I gotta say, I find this phenomenon utterly perplexing. I’ve even come up with a name for it: validexting.
Validation + Texting
I get a lot of questions from amazing Sexy Confident women like you about what the #%&! is going on when a guy sends mixed signals like these. The guy seems to want to win you over, but once he accomplishes this, he doesn’t want anything more from you. Or he only wants sex from you.
Believe me, it’s not worth the energy to try to decipher what the heck a man is thinking who sends mixed signals, so allow me to do a little interpretation to help you.
P.S. You know who doesn’t send mixed signals? A man who wants to commit to only you. Find out how to get a man to do just that with my exclusive free training.
Introduction to Mixed Signals
You don’t really need an introduction to mixed signals, do you? When you were in your 20s, boys gave them all the time. But you’re dismayed to discover that grown men—in their 40s, 50s, and older—still send them!
What gives?! Shouldn’t men know by now how to communicate in dating?
I guess not.
The reasons men send mixed signals vary. Sometimes they don’t know what they want. Sometimes it’s all miscommunication. Other times, they’re playing head games with you. You may never know the reason why this man is short-circuiting his messages to you, but at least you can know how to deal with it.
1. Chalk It Up as Him Being Insecure
Insecure little boys seek validation from women.
Men know what they want and they go get it. They don’t waste their time or anyone else’s time giving mixed signals.
And no, age doesn’t determine whether a male is a boy or a man. It all comes down to his maturity and insecurity level.
If you find yourself dating a scared little boy who doesn’t want to do anything more than dip his toes in the water of dating you, then here’s what you do: call him a little boy (maybe not to his face; just in your head) and move on to find a real man, because that’s what you deserve.
If it feels like this guy is playing games and just wants you to chase after him, he’s insecure and looking for validation. Giving it to him is not your job. Move on.
2. Be Empathetic
If you’re getting mixed signals, you can’t automatically assume that he’s a jerk. You don’t know what other things are going on in his life.
Put yourself in his shoes: is he recovering from a past relationship? Maybe past pain is keeping him from opening up to you early on.
Does he have something in his life getting in the way? He might be going through divorce proceedings right now, and that’s eating up a lot of emotional energy so he’s got none to give you. He might be unemployed right now and stressed about the fact that he can’t afford to take you out the way he wants to. His mom might be sick. There are a dozen things that could be going on that you’re simply unaware of.
If you find that this guy is a little bit hot then cold but you still feel like he’s into you, cut him some slack. You may not know the whole story. As you get to know one another better, he may open up about what’s keeping him from being a better communicator and partner.
3. Talk to Him in Person
If you’re frustrated about the mixed signals he’s giving you, discuss it with him face-to-face. The best way to know how someone feels about you is to talk to him in person. Trying to have this conversation via text doesn’t work because you’re reading too much into what he’s saying or you can misunderstand his tone. Also, you need to see his face to watch for how he’s communicating his emotions.
I know that talking in person can make you feel hugely vulnerable (there’s nowhere to hide!) but trust me: it’s the best way to communicate. Stop using your phone as a crutch to have real conversations about how you feel about someone.
Have the courage to put yourself out there (assuming you’re in a relationship with this man). If he’s just a fling or you already sense that he’s not interested, move on. But if you think this man is worth your time, then it’s worth it to have a conversation about your frustration with his mixed signals.
I’m sorry I can’t keep men from sending mixed signals, but at least now I’ve empowered you to understand some potential causes of the reason he’s acting the way he is, and have provided you with some strategies to deal with either a scared little boy or a man who simply has other things going on in his life that are keeping him from giving 100% to you. It’s my hope that this article and video help you cut through the crap to cut ties from a guy who’s just playing games or communicate authentically with a man who’s worth the effort.
Share with the Sexy Confidence community in the comments below: what sort of mixed signals are you getting from the guy you’re dating?
I’d love to get you on the free training that I’ve created to help you get a man to miss you and commit to only you. I’ll give you tips to determine whether you should continue to invest in a man who’s sending mixed signals or whether it’s time to move on. Sign up here asap because space is limited.