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Every home is different, as well as the method you pick to set out your living room. From the colours you use to the furnishings that works for you, shows the personality of those that live there. That’s why choosing the right fireproof doors (portes pyrasfaleias) to suit your home is so important. In some cases it’s practical to understand which doors are prominent, so here are our top-ten door predictions for 2019.
Specific Door Finishes:
Fire doors can be produced with high quality veneer coatings, matching the look of a wide series of lumber types. Timber, being a natural product, will certainly have variations, however you can ensure that all door surfaces are consistent throughout your project, which they match, or complement, each other throughout the areas.
Your project will more than likely need indoor doors with glass some place within the building. Bespoke glazed displays can be made in various designs, type and also thicknesses, to make sure, not just the safety called for honesty and insulation, but likewise the look you desire for your surface.
Laminate doors might be a preferred selection over traditional wood, dependent upon the project as well as the final appearance you’re trying to create. Laminates supply a difficult, scrape immune surface that is easy to tidy. Various laminate coatings such as ordinary, formed or timber grain are offered to match any kind of bordering floor covering or wall coverings.
A number of various paint quality alternatives are available– you can pick different surfaces, based on the materials used to make the door, to acquire the completed look you need.
Your picked doors manufacturer will have all the crucial needed technical and regulative requirements details, in addition to having the ability to recommend you on the visual surfaces to ensure you attain a stylish as well as corresponding finish to your fire doors throughout your job.
See more about fireproof Doors:
- ΜΟΝΤΕΛΑ ΠΟΡΤΩΝ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ
- ΚΛΕΙΔΑΡΙΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ
- ΠΥΡΑΝΤΟΧΕΣ ΥΑΛΟΘΥΡΕΣ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΜΕΤΑΛΛΙΚΕΣ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΠΥΡΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΟΛΩΝΑΚΙ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΟΛΩΝΟΣ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΟΡΥΔΑΛΛΟΣ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΟΡΩΠΙ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΟΥΚΑΚΙ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΡΥΟΝΕΡΙ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΚΥΨΕΛΗ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΛΑΓΟΝΗΣΙ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΛΑΜΠΡΙΝΗ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΛΑΥΡΙΟ
- ΠΟΡΤΕΣ ΑΣΦΑΛΕΙΑΣ ΛΕΓΡΕΝΑ
Have you ever been in a relationship that was so exciting, where you never knew what was going to happen next? One that felt like a roller coaster?
That guy was totally unpredictable, wasn’t he?
Him: Man, I love you! I just want to be with you forever…
You: [totally smitten] I love you too!
Him: …But I need to go to Mexico and tame wild horses for a couple of months. Maybe I’ll see you when I get back?
And because a relationship like that is full of erratic emotional energy, you become even more addicted to it. You fantasize that the roller coaster will stop sooner or later, but in the meantime, you’re kinda enjoying the ups and downs, in a sad way.
As time goes on, however, you realize that those hot and cold qualities that first attracted you to this guy are starting to drive you #^!@ crazy in the relationship.
Let me break some news to you: this is not a healthy relationship.
Over the past ten years of helping sexy, single ladies like you find love, I’ve learned one very important principle: healthy relationships are boring.
But you know what? That’s a really good thing, and I’m going to explain why in this article and video.
I want to share a story about a client I used to coach. When we were working together, she was dating a musician. He said all the right things to her:
…how much he loved her…
…how he wanted to have children with her…
…how he wanted to buy a house with her…
…but then he’d disappear on a gig for months at a time. Sometimes he’d take her to shows, but not that often. She told me that this was the most exciting time in her life. After all, she was dating a rock star! It was fun and exciting…but she could tell something was off.
One night, she was at a venue where he was performing, and she couldn’t find him anywhere. So where was he? In the bathroom having sex with a random woman he met at the bar.
Exciting, yes, but also maddening. And definitely not love or a healthy relationship.
Healthy relationships tend to be boring. They don’t evoke these crazy, emotional fits because they are, by nature, stable. If you love that roller coaster feeling, you may not want or need a healthy relationship right now. And if that’s where you are, that’s okay. You may not be ready to settle down after divorce. Maybe you never really dated or played the field before you were married, and you want to take the opportunity to do so now.
But there will likely come a time in your life when you value stability, security, and long-term monogamy. And that’s when your relationships will lose some of that shiny new toy feeling. But the good news is that healthy relationships are rich with love. And guess what? RICH is an acronym for the components of a healthy relationship:
Let’s look at each so you know the signs that you’re in a healthy relationship.
A Healthy Relationship Has Respect
If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner will respect your privacy, your space, and when you want to get physical or not. You won’t have to defend your right to hang out with friends instead of him or feel bad that you’re not in the mood for sex one night.
And this respect goes both ways. If you are really in love and ready to commit to this man, you will respect him, his opinions, and his decisions. You won’t belittle him or make fun of him (light joking is fine, but if you’re doing it to hurt him, that isn’t respect).
If you feel you are being disrespected in a relationship, and you don’t feel like you can communicate that fact to your partner, then you’re not in a healthy relationship. In the example I gave about my client dating the musician, you clearly see that he didn’t respect her or the relationship.
- Do you feel respected in this relationship?
- Does he support things you do, or mock them?
- Do you find it easy to respect him, or do you struggle with it?
A Healthy Relationship Makes You Feel Important
You should feel important in a healthy relationship. Period.
I had another client who was in a relationship with a guy she didn’t see often because he was “busy with work” (or so he said). When they did see each other, it was always at her house, where they always had sex. They never went out for dinner, and she never met his friends. You see where I’m going with this.
Needless to say, she felt incredibly unimportant to him. I told her that for all she knew, he was married! Whether he was or not, he didn’t carve out time in his life for her beyond the occasional bootie call, and she needed to value herself more than that.
- Do you feel like a priority in his life, or an afterthought?
- Does he choose to spend time with you over other important options, or are you at the end of the list?
- Do you communicate how important he is to you?
A Healthy Relationship Includes Commitment
It’s impossible to trust someone unless you know that they are monogamous.
I know these days, it’s more common to start a relationship with something casual, and maybe you don’t want to rock the boat by asking for more. But it’s important for you as a powerful single woman to put your foot down and set boundaries about what you’re looking for in a relationship before this “casual thing” goes too far and you start to have feelings for him that he can’t return because he doesn’t want a relationship.
If a man is ready to commit, there’s a much greater chance your relationship will thrive long-term. In a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, researchers found that people who were ready for commitment were 25% less likely to break up over time. The opposite is true, too. If the man you’re dating is reluctant to commit to you, you should see that as a sign that he’s probably not The One, and that you won’t be able to force him to commit.
And remember: Never commit to a man unless he is fully committed to you.
- Have you discussed commitment and monogamy? What was his reaction?
- Does he have excuses about why he can’t commit right now?
- Are you ready to be monogamous?
A Healthy Relationship Brings Happiness
In a healthy relationship, you both want the other person to be happy, and you’ll do anything you can to make that happen.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you always put his happiness before your own, or that you have to give up important things so he can get what he wants. But it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice for you to put his needs first sometimes, and he’s balancing that by doing the same for you.
But are most couples happy, you ask? According to eHarmony’s 2019 Happiness Index, 83% of American couples are happy. Some of the things these couples had in common include an equal, monogamous partnership, open communication, and healthy sex life.
- Are you happy when you’re with him?
- Does he make an effort to make you happy?
- How do you feel about compromising occasionally so he can be happy?
So those are the four components you need to be RICH in love in a healthy relationship.
Even if you don’t think you’re in the right relationship now, I need you to know that you’re on the right track. You are reading this article right now because you’re ready to change your life and find something good. You’re here because you want to change the trajectory of your love life from the disappointments you’ve had in the past. And just showing up and being ready for change is half the battle. You’ll find the man that is perfect for you. Trust me.
Keep these RICH elements in mind as you date so you can ask yourself whether you’re in a healthy relationship or on a roller coaster that you need to get off of.
It may not seem sexy to be in a boring, healthy relationship, but trust me: you’ll love it. Once you get away from that drama—which I know can be addicting—you’ll find that staying in and watching Netflix with a man you can truly trust with your heart is so much better than crying over a cheating, lying musician in a bar!
Leave a comment below and tell me that you’re ready for a healthy, boring relationship!
Get your journey toward a boring, healthy relationship started by taking my Attract the One webinar!
” What and how I wear with a Black Formal Dress?” have always been a classic inquiry ladies are going to a Gala. Obviously, when it comes to the preparations, the myriad of options in dresses can conveniently be puzzling as most of them are trendy. And also, locating the ideal outfit is only half the fight, as well as it’s just the beginning since there are still so many options remain even after you locate “the one.” As well as shoes to worry about, the best hair style and also all the frustrating amount of choices to make in the precious jewelry division. So, what should you do?
Fashion professionals agree that every lady should possess a black outfit. When it pertains to an event, an official black outfit will constantly look traditional, stylish and extravagant.
What makes the total black gown appearance however, does not depend only on the gown design you use.Equipping right is the distinction between making your black dress appearance stunning vs gaudy or inexpensive.We have collected a few suggestions and also techniques to assist you make use of the ideal accessories to perfectly enhance your black formal dress:
No 1: Minimal lines
Perhaps the safest as well as most classy means to pull off a black gown without overshadowing is to use fashion jewelry in easy and marginal lines. These would certainly appear round and slim pendants, rings or pendants without any spikes or rocks. There is no need to purchase something that incorporates many fancy patterns and lines as these tend to look more gypsy as well as inexpensive instead of elegant. Remember, your dress ought to be the lead character of the night and also whatever else need to come second.
No 2: Use solid shade metallics or little colored stones
The same ‘regulation’ we have talked about above additionally applies to shades. Most of the times, utilizing strong shade metallics like silver, bronze or gold is the way to add some stimulate to your dress without looking too much. If you still desire to add some shade e.g in case your skin tone is pale, incorporating a single metallic with little shade rock in a different color e.g red, pink, or environment-friendly just would likewise be great.
No 3: Use just up to 2 pieces at a time
One more very crucial guideline when trying to adorning as well as following the ‘minimal’ regulation. Style experts concur that particularly in official occasions, it’s best to put on only as much as two fashion jewelry items at time e.g a necklace as well as a ring, a necklace and also an arm band, jewelry as well as a locket, etc. This is to offer your outfit a touch of glam without being fancy as well as excessive. Remember, you are going to use your shoes and carry a bag so you actually do not need to put on several pieces.
No 4: Make sure your bag fits
An usual blunder that girls participate in a formal event and specifically when using a dress in a dark solid color like black, is carrying a bag in much different design as well as color than their jewellery. Black is a color that matches with whatever, however if you pick a suede blue bag for instance when you are using gold necklace and shoes, this will certainly take off from the design as well as glam you are trying to flaunt. If you can’t discover a bag in the exact same shade as your jewelry as well as footwear, opt for premium designs as well as textiles like silk as well as cashmere with metal details.
No 5: Make use of a statement pendant in a bustier or sleeveless black dress
Although it’s finest to maintain your lines and styles minimal, some gown designs require that extra little something that will make them pop. If your black gown is a bustier or sleeveless gown with straight, sweetie, or bandeau breast living your neck and perhaps top increase revealed, a declaration pendant like this one right here will develop an extremely intriguing and also attractive comparison.
See more about fashion :
So you’re ready to step up your relationship and you want to come up with some hot sexting messages to send to your boyfriend. Or maybe he’s asking you to send sexts but you’re still not sure if you want to…or where to start.
If you do wander down the sexting path, you’re far from alone. In a study from the American Psychological Association, researchers found that 88% of respondents had sexted, and 75% of those people had done so in a committed relationship. Those who were in relationships saw higher levels of sexual satisfaction than sexters who were single.
So if it could spice up your sex life…why not try it?
Researchers have found that there are scientific reasons why sexting arouses us. LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D., a licensed psychotherapist, author, and TEDx speaker, says:
“When you receive a sext, your brain reacts by activating hormones and other neurochemicals of pleasure such as dopamine,” says Dr. Wish. “For women, the attachment hormone oxytocin also gets switched on. This hormone, which is crucial to mothers, intensifies feelings of the joys of closeness. When you combine pleasure and closeness, you can get sexual arousal — even from sexting! For men, hormones such as vasopressin intensify their sexual pleasure.”
Sexting can turn a man on at any stage of your relationship. In this article, I’ll give you some example sexting messages to send to your boyfriend…
- Before you’ve had sex
- After the first time you have sex
- After you’ve been together for a few months
- After you’ve been together for a few years
Each scenario will have a slightly different approach when it comes to sexting.
Above All, Be Comfortable
This may be the first time you’ve sexted, especially if you’re new to dating all over again. Sexting certainly wasn’t a “thing” the last time you were single! Men simply whispered sexy things in your ear when you were on a date. Texting has certainly changed the dating landscape, hasn’t it?
Let me say if the idea of sending sexy texts to a man completely skeeves you out, don’t do it. You need to be comfortable. But let me also say that sexting doesn’t have to be gross. You can find sexy words without being lewd and still turn on your man. I say give it a try and see how you feel about it. If you hate it, you can stop. But if he encourages you, you might find that you become the Cassanova of sexting!
Let’s move on to those examples of sexting messages to send to your boyfriend!
Sexting Messages to Send Your Boyfriend…Before You’ve Had Sex
So you haven’t done the deed yet, but you’re ready. You know it’s going to happen soon, and you’d like to create a little anticipation on his side with some hot texts. Here are some things you can say (feel free to modify to fit your own needs):
- The way you’ve been kissing me really turns me on…it’s time to do something about that.
- I had a dream about you last night…can I act it out with you later? 🙂
- You’ve been a perfect gentleman, but I’m ready to take it to the next level…
- If your kisses are any indication, I can imagine how hot you’d be in bed…
- I’m getting ready for our date. Which do you prefer? Red or black thong?
- I can’t stop thinking about how hot our first time will be…
- [in response to him asking what you’re doing] I’m in the tub…thinking of you…
…After You Have Sex for the First Time
So now you’ve been with this guy, and WOW. It was hot. And positive reinforcement yields positive results. In other words, tell him he did a great job and he’ll be back for more. Let him know you’re thinking about last night and you’ll get him hot and bothered…and ready for another opportunity to make you sweat!
- Damn. We make a hot couple in bed! I’m thinking I’m ready for round 2.
- Last night was just the beginning. Tonight you’ll be screaming my name…
- I just spilled wine all over myself. Wish you were here to lick it off.
- So…I’m a little sore from last night. But it was worth every toe-curling minute…
- No man has ever made me as wet as you did last night…
- I can’t stop thinking about that thing you did with your tongue…more, please!
- [don’t write words. Just send a sexy gif]
…After You’ve Been Together a Few Months
So the fires of passion have leveled off now that you’ve been dating a few months. You know each other better both emotionally and physically, and you’re more comfortable with the sexting messages you send to your boyfriend. Now’s the time to get more playful with them! It’s important to keep sending these sexy texts to continue to fuel the fire you’ve sparked together.
- I’m at work, but all I can think about is getting to your place and ripping your clothes off.
- Care to go lingerie shopping with me today? I’ll model.
- Meet me for a lunchtime quickie? My office has a lock (we can decide if we want to use it)
- My body misses you. My vibe can’t compete. Come over tonight.
- Do you have any clue what dirty things I want to do to you right now?
- Tonight I’m going to slowly undress you…tie you to the bed…and have my way with you all night long.
…After You’ve Been Together for Years
It’s even more important to keep the passion alive after you’ve been together for years because those initial infatuation hormones have worn off. But you’re in the true love phase of your relationship, and that can make your sex life incredibly powerful. Focus on being spontaneous with your texts and taking him by surprise when he least expects it.
- Meet me at home in 30 minutes. You’ve been bad and need to be punished.
- [if you’re together at a bar] Would anyone notice if we slipped away and f#%!ed in the bathroom, do you think?
- I’m picking up cake for dessert. Care to eat it off of my naked body?
- Do you want to know my fantasy?
- I didn’t get enough of you this morning. Let’s go for round 2 tonight.
- I’m looking at a pic of you with your shirt off and it’s making me wet.
- Tonight, you’re all mine and you do what I say 🙂
- Let’s break the bed (again) tonight!
- I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Will you punish me?
After you try out a few of these sexting messages to send to your boyfriend, you’ll become more at ease at using them to heat up your relationship…particularly if he responds positively! And what man wouldn’t? After all, here’s a woman who, in the middle of the day, is telling him how much she wants him! Sexting can help you claim your sexual power and boost your confidence: two things I think every woman really needs!
I hope that these sexts inspire you to come up with your own messages and that they help feed the fires of passion for you.
Share in the comments below: what result have you gotten with sending sexts to your man? Has it resulted in hot sex?
And if you want even more hot texts you can copy and paste, download the Love Texting Report.
You’ve been dating this man for a while, and you admit: you’re falling for him. But is this infatuation or something more serious? You’re looking for signs that he’s your soulmate to understand if your search for Mr. Right is over.
I get that you want hard evidence that this man is meant for you. After all, you’ve been through a lot at this point in your life. Maybe you’re divorced. Maybe you’re a single mom. Maybe you’ve kissed so many frogs that you’ve just about given up the idea that there’s someone out there that’s perfect for you.
Then this guy comes along…
…and suddenly all the pain and heartbreak you’ve been through seems like it might have all been worth it. But can you be sure? Not to worry, sexy, single lady. We’re going to walk through soulmate signs so you can figure out if this is the relationship you were meant to have.
What is a Soulmate?
Experts have a few opinions on where the term and concept of a soulmate came from. Many attribute it to Greek myth, saying that, at one point, men and women were united, but out of jealousy, the god Zeus split them apart, and now we spend our lives looking for our matches.
The poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter in the early 1800s: “To be happy in Married Life … you must have a Soul-mate.”
Google “what is a soulmate,” and you’ll get dozens of answers. I believe that the definition has to be a personal one. For me, I can boil down what a soulmate is into a simple formula:
best friend + attraction = soulmate
Yes, you may have a female best friend or two, but your true soulmate is someone you can’t imagine your life without…plus you’re incredibly attracted to him. And that attraction turns into a deep love that never fades.
But that’s just my definition. You might have your own, so as you read this article, consider what the term “soulmate” means to you.
Are Soulmates a Real Thing?
So maybe you’re of the skeptical school of love and think the idea of having a soulmate is balderdash. You might be surprised to hear that you’re in the minority on that: about 66% of Americans believe in the concept of soulmates. Of course, science can’t prove that soulmates are a tangible thing, so you’ll have to decide whether to put stock into the idea or not.
I personally don’t believe that there’s only one person out there for you, but I do believe that when you meet the right person, it truly feels like they are touching your soul.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you believe in soulmates or not. If you find someone who you love, and who returns that love equally, isn’t that what’s important?
Difference Between a Soulmate and Everyone Else
Whatever your definition is, the person who is your soulmate will be unlike anyone you’ve ever known. Once you find your soulmate, you will look back on every past relationship and realize that it paled in comparison to this one.
You’ve probably experienced lust for someone at some point. Lust is driven primarily by sexual desire. While you will be hot for your soulmate, it’s more than lust. It’s an intimate emotional and physical connection that you don’t get with a hookup.
It can be confusing to know if someone is your soulmate if you believe you love them. It’s a fact: you can love someone without them being your soulmate. You’ll only realize later that, while you loved your ex, it wasn’t as deep as a soulmate relationship. The connection goes deeper with a soulmate, and sometimes you can’t know that a past relationship wasn’t with a soulmate until you truly find the right person for you.
Here are 27 Soulmate Signs to Watch for in a Relationship
1. The Love Doesn’t Dwindle After the Infatuation Stage
I’ve written before about the different stages of a relationship. The first one is Attraction and Romance, or, Infatuation. This stage feels awesome…but it’s superficial. You don’t know the man you’re dating well enough to know whether he’s exhibiting soulmate signs yet…and there’s a good chance that infatuation will wear off and you’ll start to be annoyed by his flaws more.
But when you’re with your soulmate, you feel this silly, goofy, fiery passion and love for him long past the infatuation. You go through the other stages, where you struggle to find your footing in the relationship, and then really establish your long-term partnership…and that love is still going strong.
2. You Feel Like You’ve Known Him Forever
Without getting too woo-woo on you, let me say that some people believe that your soulmate is someone you knew and loved in a past life. It’s a beautiful concept, isn’t it? To imagine that you keep finding and falling in love with the same amazing person in life after life?
Not buying into it? Oh well…me neither.
Regardless of your take on past lives, you just feel like you know this guy, even if you’ve only been with him a few months. He feels familiar in a way that no other man ever has. And you like that feeling.
3. You Trust Him
Part of feeling like you know someone well is also trusting him. This may surprise you, especially if you believed you had trust issues because of past heartbreak. But because this man feels so familiar, you find it easier to be vulnerable and open with him, and that is a great foundation for a long and fantastic relationship.
I know at the start of a relationship, you can often feel wobbly and afraid that things won’t work out, especially if your last few (or dozen) attempts at love didn’t pan out. But with this man, you just trust that it’s going to work out. And that feels pretty damn great, doesn’t it?
4. You Finish Each Other’s Sentences
Maybe you get on your friends’ nerves with how you finish each other’s sentences. Who cares? It’s your soulmate!
When you know each other so well (even if it’s been a short time), it can feel like magic to know what he’s going to say before he says it…and vice versa.
You also probably have lots of little inside jokes that no one else gets or thinks are funny. That’s part of knowing one another inside and out!
5. You “Get” Him Like No One Else
This guy just makes sense to you. It might be his OCD way of getting ready for bed that you understand is necessary for a good night’s sleep…or why he hates spiders. Whatever the “thing,” you get it. You accept his quirks and personality traits as part and parcel of who he is.
Others may question the things he does, or write them off as silly, but you’re quick to defend him, knowing that there’s a reason for everything he does. He doesn’t even need to explain it to you because you understand.
6. You Can Read Him Without Words
He walks through the door after work, and instantly, without a word needed, you know what kind of mood he’s in and what he wants. Maybe you sense that he’s had a hard day and needs some alone time. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, tell him you just bought some beer, and head to another room so he can be alone.
At the same time, he can read you, too! That means you can never keep things from this man. He’ll read in your face that you’re hiding something. That’s why soulmate relationships are so strong: they don’t keep secrets (they can’t!). It may take some getting used to, having someone know what mood you’re in without saying a word, but you’ll grow to love the feeling.
7. Your Intense Feelings Last
While sure, even soulmates go through infatuation, one of the soulmate signs is that those intense feelings of love don’t vanish. Even after you’ve moved in together, fought over the laundry, and seen him at his most un-flattering, you still fiercely love this man. You understand that a soulmate relationship means good and bad, and the negative times don’t dampen the feelings that you have for him.
8. You Have Incredible Chemistry
You’ve had chemistry with men before, but nothing like this. I’m guessing you primarily had physical chemistry, but did you realize there are two other types that are essential for the perfect chemical equation?
Physical chemistry is easy. It happens when you are attracted to someone and find it hard to stay away. It may lead to sex…and doesn’t guarantee that it will lead to anything more.
But when you add in intellectual and spiritual chemistry, two other soulmate signs, you’re looking at soulmate material.
Intellectual chemistry happens when the conversation just flows. If you’ve dabbled in online dating, you know that doesn’t always happen. You might swipe right on a man’s profile whom you find physically attractive…but then the conversation, which consists of a lot of “hey, what’s up?” and “how was your day,” just falls flat.
But with your soulmate, you find it easy to talk about any and everything. You find yourself staying up late to talk on the phone or shut down the restaurant because you’ve stayed past closing time.
Spiritual chemistry is a little harder to define. Saba May, says, “It goes beyond opinions and beliefs – although they can be part of it. Spiritual chemistry is when you see life through a similar existential lens; your hearts are at home because you value the same things: kindness, generosity, loyalty, friendship.”
When you find the unique combination of all three of these types of chemistry, you know you’ve found something special.
9. You Love Him Unconditionally
He’s made mistakes. He has flaws. He even gets on your nerves sometimes…
But you still 1,000% love him.
It’s easier to say what unconditional love isn’t than what it is. It’s not love based on parameters like “I’ll love him when he finally gets a job” or “if he’d stop going out with the guys so much, I’d be happier and love him more.”
No matter what he does or how he acts, you accept that as part of the relationship and your love. And he does the same for you.
10. You Feel Safer Than You Ever Have
If you’ve been single for a while after a messy divorce or breakup, you may have had to create your own cocoon of safety since you could no longer rely on a relationship for that security. So it may feel strange to you to have a man in your life that totally envelops you (physically and emotionally) and essentially says, “it’s okay. You can lean on me. You’re safe.”
For most women, this is a relief. If you’ve been running your household and/or raising kids, you’ve been completely independent. No, you don’t need a man, but it is nice to have a partner that you can lean on when you need him…and you can return the favor when he needs it.
11. He Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself
You like to think you have a poker face, but he sees right through you. You’re shocked at how well he sees you and knows you, and you’re glad for the advice he gives you. That’s what the people who are close to you do, right? See you for who you are and guide you to better decisions.
12. He Challenges You (in a Good Way)
Finding your soulmate is fabulous, but don’t expect that life will be all cupcakes and kitties as a result. Because he knows you better than you know yourself, he’s never going to let you half-ass anything in life. And you will be glad when he pushes you to work harder.
Let’s say you’re complaining about your job a lot. He tells you to find a new one. All you wanted to do was complain (for the rest of your life?) but you realize that he’s pushing you to make a change to be happier. And you’re glad for the motivation.
13. You Have Many of the Same Values
You and your soulmate probably aren’t identical in your interests (that would be so boring!), but you are aligned in important values. What kind of values?
- How you see the world
- Possibly politics
- Whether you want children or not
- Whether you want to be (re)married or not
These are intangibles that are more important to share than specifics like playing tennis or liking Game of Thrones. These are values that likely won’t change over time, so if you’re aligned in them, it’s a great start to your relationship, and one of the soulmate signs to watch out for.
14. You Act as a Team
Look, I know you’re not some Disney princess waiting to be saved by Prince Charming. And that’s not what finding your soulmate is about. It’s really about finding a teammate. A partner who will share his load in your relationship.
Sometimes things will be unbalanced. If you’re working overtime and are stressed to the gills, he’ll need to pick up the slack around the house and provide you with emotional support. But if his grandmother dies, you’ll be in the role of supporter and nurturer. Over time, however, it balances out.
15. You’re Secure in the Relationship
Looking back at past relationships, did you worry a few weeks or months in that things were going to fall apart? History told you they would, right? So you tiptoed around, avoiding arguments or situations that might rock the boat.
Then what happened?
It ended anyway. Because those relationships weren’t meant to be. You hadn’t met your soulmate yet.
So now that you’ve found him, you’re surprised that you’re not worried about things ending. You feel secure that this is the relationship you’ve been waiting for, and that, my dear, is one of the soulmate signs.
16. The Story of How You Met is Special (to you)
Every soulmate meeting story I’ve heard has been awe-inspiring. Some people I know knew their soulmates long before they became a couple…and it took them years to see what was in front of them! (Cute Harry and Sally!)
No matter what your meet-cute story is, even if you met through an app, you will never forget it…or the sparks that it induced.
17. Now You GET What Love is Supposed to Be
When you were 9, you knew you found your one true love…
…when you were 16, you knew THEN that this boy was the one…
…when you were 21, you realized, no, THIS is what love is all about.
But after your divorce or breakup, you started doubting love altogether. But here is your soulmate, and it feels completely different from any love or infatuation you’ve ever felt. It all makes sense now.
18. He Makes You Want to Be a Better Version of You
Allow me to go a little Oprah on you for a minute with these soulmate signs. The right people in our lives make us want to be better. Do better. There’s nothing wrong with working to improve ourselves and our lives.
And let me clarify here: you’re not trying to improve because he’s criticizing you and telling you your flaws. He just inspires you. Maybe he runs marathons and you’re a couch potato, but he inspired you to start jogging and try your first 5k (with him by your side).
19. You Realize Past Relationships Were Just Infatuations
Now, just because you’ve found your soulmate doesn’t mean that you never loved any of the men you were in relationships with, but you may be able to see more clearly that at least some of them were infatuations. You can’t know what you don’t know, and if at the time, infatuation felt like love, you had no point of reference to tell you otherwise. Now you do.
20. You Can Completely Be Yourself
It can be scary letting your hair down early in a relationship, for fear that you’ll be judged for your own quirkiness. But with a soulmate, you never have to worry about that.
Some people find that they lose their sense of identity in a relationship, and that can be detrimental to that relationship. There’s a psychological concept called differentiation that I want you to know about. It refers to finding a balance between connecting with your partner and maintaining your separate sense of self.
When this is out of whack, you may keep quiet about issues that bother you, for fear of starting an argument. Or you might put his needs ahead of yours. When you’re in a relationship with your soulmate, this isn’t an issue because, while you’re close, it’s easy for both of you to be independent individuals without becoming absorbed into the “we.”
21. You Just KNOW
Don’t you hate it when you used to ask a girlfriend how she knew her man was The One and she said, with a dreamy, far-off look in her eyes, “I just KNEW!”
Now you get it, right?
You can’t quantify why you believe this man is your soulmate, but you feel it in your bones. Trust your instinct!
22. You’re Both Willing to Work Through Rough Patches
When you were in your 20s, you’d break up with a guy at the first sign of stormy weather. But you’re older and wiser now, and this relationship is worth a few bumps in the road. Neither of you is afraid to work through issues. You know they’re part of a long life together, and you’re willing to put in the effort.
23. You Want to Make One Another Happy
Another one of the soulmate signs is happiness. One day, you agree to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant (even though you’re not a fan), and the next, he skips the game to hang out with you. A soulmate relationship is about positive compromise, where you both work to make the other happy. It’s never, ever one-sided.
24. You Aren’t Jealous
Maybe in past relationships, you found yourself a little jealous if your man spent time with other women, or even his guy friends, but you’re so confident in this relationship, that the green-eyed monster is nowhere to be found.
25. You’re Not Afraid to Speak Your Mind
Because you know you’re both in it for the long haul, you are relaxed enough to tell him what’s on your mind, even if he is likely to disagree. You trust him and the relationship enough to know that it won’t destroy things to be honest. In fact, it will make them better.
26. You Truly Listen to One Another
You’ve struggled with active listening in the past, but you find it easy to do with your soulmate. You give him your undivided attention because he gives you his when you’re talking. The result? You both hear and understand one another.
27. You’re Happy Doing Nothing With Him
You could be reading a book on opposite ends of the couch, and you’d still feel like you were spending quality time with him. Your days of constantly needing stimulation every week have come to an end…though you still make time to dress up for one another for date nights every few weeks.
I’m guessing by now that you’re excited that your relationship exhibits so many of these soulmate signs, and you’re thrilled to realize all the time you’ve spent seeking the right man for you have come to an end.
Congratulations! You’re lucky in love.
Which of these soulmate signs spoke to you the loudest? Share in the comments below.
Haven’t found your soulmate yet? Get a little boost with my free Attract the One workshop. Space is limited, so sign up now.
These are the messages you’re sending out with a high quality leather bag.
Often times– they’re fantastic icebreakers at specialist or networking events.
But … are all natural leather bags produced equal?
Sadly– the horror stories exist.
Male invest $1,000 on a natural leather bag and also 6 months later on:
The natural leather starts fracturing
The stitching comes reversed
The equipment starts to corrosion
There are points to look out for prior to getting leather bags.
This post is meant to highlight the bottom lines to take into consideration prior to you take out your purse.
Their leather bags are complete grain vegetable tanned leather. Also Known As– the very best you can get & far superior to “genuine leather”. Their layouts are vintage passionate & marginal + functional. They are made to last a life time.
Since they are a straight to customer deluxe natural leather bag firm— their rates are incredibly cost effective for the top quality. As well as they are made right here in the U.S.A..
Reference in the notes section that RMRS sent you as well as you will get a totally free front pocket budget with the purchase of any kind of bag (Limited to 1 per consumer to the very first 20 consumers & runs out on December 12, 2016).
Go here to look into the incredible bags from Jackson Wayne.
1. Kind Of Leather Utilized
Like shoes and also leather jackets, you intend to choose a bag that’s constructed from complete grain natural leather. It’s top-notch natural leather that looks even more fantastic after years and years of usage.
The most effective leathers develop an appealing patina– a weathered, sheeny appearance which a material gets through aging. The higher the top quality, the better the patina. It’s not something you’ll obtain with greatly dealt with natural leather or other lesser grades.
Avoid bags that are made from bonded natural leather. These bags really utilize scrap items of natural leather which have been remodelled with chemicals and also plastics into a second-rate variation of leather.
It doesn’t age well or have that distinct, good leather odor. It’s rather typical these days and sales people attempt to advertise them as genuine natural leather products. Beware– they come at low prices yet are not value for money.
2. Tanning Process
The leathers made use of for bags and instances aren’t prepared similarly. You require to recognize the distinctions between 2 major tanning procedures: chrome tanning and veggie sun tanning (specifically given that they impact the rate).
For chrome tanned natural leather, the procedure involves chromium and also various other extreme chemicals. It’s finished in a number of days– which is why their items are always cheap. Chrome tanned leather accounts for about 90% of the leather market.
Then we have vegetable tanned leather. It’s created in an environment-friendly means, unlike chrome tanned leather. The term “vegetable” refers to the natural materials that are utilized while doing so (such as tree bark).
Here the cowhides experience a pre-tanning stage in which they are rehydrated with all the hair got rid of. Each conceal is reduced right into 2 items called “sides”– which are after that taken into big barrels and also full of all-natural tannins. For a number of weeks– not days– they are taken in tanning liquor.
Since the whole process is longer, many vegetable tanned natural leather items tend to be thicker as well as stiffer than chrome tanned natural leather ones (however get softer at some point when the natural leather breaks in). That’s why vegetable sun tanning works best for higher end bags. The leathers transcend to their chrome tanning counterparts in character, sturdiness and also holding capacity. They’re known for their traditional leather scent in addition to exceptional patina.
One firm I recognize that makes use of veg sun tanning is Jackson Wayne. In a globe of items from both extremes– pricey designer options as well as economical top quality ones– their bags are a breath of fresh air. Jackson Wayne natural leather bags are designed with excellent design and also capability. They’re likewise economically priced.
These people have an amazing quality assurance process that assures long-lasting baggage. They also supply a life time guarantee that covers any kind of issues you may encounter with their items (but the opportunities of those are quite slim!).
3. Country Of Origin & Making.
A lot of times, the beginning of the natural leather figures out the top quality of the bag. We know of some nations that frequently generate top quality natural leather like Italy, England, France and also the US. History reveals that those nations have a great performance history of tanning natural leather well.
Yet nowadays you require a little bit even more discernment– particularly when it concerns tags. There are firms which try to maximize the “Italy” track record by doing all the work in one more nation and also merely completing the natural leather in Italy. After that they mark the product as Italian leather– which is how they sell chrome tanned natural leather or low-quality leathers at higher rates.
You’ll wish to keep an eye out for costs natural leather– where the conceal selection and sun tanning are all executed in Italy or various other trusted countries. You can only trust individuals there to have fantastic skill and also attention to detail throughout the bag making process.
Jackson Wayne uses premium vegetable tanned leather from an American Tannery that’s been in business since 1867.
4. Durability & Handwork.
The most effective natural leather bags originate from the most durable natural leathers. They’re specialist artworks– it’s not just about putting various components with each other. Two things need to be involved: (1) a mindful selection of leather and also (2) exact sewing.
The optimal bag can hold a specific weight and be walked around without being deteriorated at all. That’s why the grain is vital– full-grain leather makes the most sturdy bags. But top-grain leather is a more budget friendly alternative that likewise works.
The sewing on a bag should be right, barely recognizable as well as with no loosened strings. It’s important that you check the inner and outer surfaces for this uniformity.
The handles must additionally be attached to the body through enhanced sewing or metal components. You don’t want those manages glued to the bag– they’re at threat of obtaining loose or coming off.
Prior to you buy a natural leather bag, examine the quality of all the little parts. It always assists to analyze the details from each side of the bag. These are the attributes you ought to pay attention to:.
- Metallic rings.
- Shoulder band installations.
- Zippers (keep in mind that steel zippers are of much better quality than plastic zippers).
For bags to acquire online– zoom in on the photos so you can have a look at the private parts. Additionally keep in mind to look at (or request for) images that reveal the bag with its zipper closed and open.
Right here’s a break down of the typical natural leather bag shades and also the environment each: black, dark brown, tan and light brown.
Black and also dark brown are best fit for expert atmospheres. They predict a feeling of authority as well as power. Tan as well as lighter brownish go well with an extra laid-back or relaxed working environment.
One of the most formal option is black, as it matches suits of all shades. Yet bear in mind that dark brown (chocolate) natural leather is another ideal option. This color can stay very sophisticated and also elegant also after a years.
Avoid bags which have greater than 2 different shades or have sewing with a contrasting shade. These bags are viewed as flamboyant. A solitary shade would certainly be the most safe bet.
Lastly, you ought to think about the kind of declaration you wish to make with your bag. The design ought to be ideal for your occupation.
The bag itself must do what you require it to do. The appropriate selection can take your design and also image to the next level. It assists you make an effective statement any place you go.
According to that– it is very important to recognize the differences in between a briefcase and a messenger bag.
This is useful for lawyers, accounting professionals, designers, medical professionals, service people and also other experts that transport documents/laptops to and also from the workplace.
It’s the best selection to come with a fit that you’re using to function or for a meeting.
An attaché situation is a smaller sized lavish case that can be made use of to take a couple of records or a laptop computer into a conference or presentation, without the requirement for a full sized brief-case.
This is less official and more functional than a briefcase.
It’s implied to be carried over the shoulder or go across body.
It works wonderful for casual work environments or when taking a trip for a vacation.
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Whether you’ve already been married once (or more) to the wrong husband or whether you are still looking to find a husband for the first time, I’m here to help. But first…
There’s a quote from Jim Rohn that I love:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
This is very true! The people around us have an incredible impact on our life. They influence our happiness, our decision-making, what we do, why we do it…
It really is the key to success in life to surround ourselves with great people. Take a moment to consider the people you have around you and how they influence you in all aspects of your life.
I’ll take this idea a step further and say: You become the average of the person you marry.
That person, your husband, should help make you your best self. You should continually want to give to them and be a part of a powerful partnership.
That’s why you don’t want to marry the wrong person! It is truly the most important decision you will ever make in your life. So allow me to share three steps to find a husband—the RIGHT husband—for you!
P.S. No one said you had to go on this journey alone. My free webinar will help you project the kind of confidence that will attract a man who is wild to marry you. Sign up asap!
How to Find a Husband Who Will Treat You Right
When you were a little girl, you might have dreamed of a big wedding and a fluffy white dress. But did you really put thought into the man who would be your husband? (Maybe you envisioned Kirk Cameron or Leonardo DiCaprio, or whoever your celebrity crush was back then).
Maybe you had the big wedding and big dress but then realized a few years later that you’d married the wrong man.
In no way do I want you to take that to mean that Mr. Right isn’t still out there for you. Maybe your first marriage or long-term relationship was right in that moment, but it’s no longer right for who you are now. The good news is: if you start aligning yourself with the idea of finding the right husband, I guarantee you’ll find him!
1. Get to Know Yourself First
It doesn’t matter whether you’re 20 or 50: some people get married way too quickly. Maybe they’re desperate to settle down or maybe there’s another reason they rush to the altar, but the problem is: these marriages are less likely to last.
Two researchers at Emory University, Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, studied 3,000 married couples in the U.S. to determine the factors that predicted divorce. Among other factors, they looked at how long a couple dated before getting engaged and found that those who dated 1-2 years before getting engaged were 20% less likely to get divorced. Those that dated 3 or more years were 39% less likely to divorce later.
Given the technological breakthroughs in science, you might live to be 120 years old, so what’s the rush? Waiting a few years to get to know your mate, get to know yourself, and get to know one another as a couple will only strengthen your marriage and ensure that it lasts.
When you’ve got a lot going on in your life, including adjusting to being in a relationship, it’s not a good time to make major life decisions about getting married or even having kids. I know a couple who dated for 3 months before moving in together. Three months later, they took a big international trip together…and now they just got engaged. I’m hoping they take a year or more before they actually tie the knot so they have time to settle into being a couple first. This is moving way too fast.
I remember in my 20s, I had a ton going on. I was launching Sexy Confidence, I was speaking all over the country about dating and relationships, I was riding motorcycles and kite surfing…I was a busy dude. I remember avoiding serious relationships because I understood that the man I was then wasn’t the man I would be down the road. I was still growing and getting to know myself. I felt that it wouldn’t be fair to take someone for that rollercoaster ride until I was truly ready to settle down.
When I entered my 30s, that’s when my life settled down. Lo and behold, that’s when I met Jessica…and now we are happily engaged.
So my advice to you, despite how ready you are to find a husband, is to take your time, both being single and being in a relationship that might end up in marriage. The more time you take, the more you can understand yourself and how this major decision will impact you long-term. There’s no rush!
2. Look for Your Best Friend in a Partner
In my Attract “The One” Academy Class, I always say that you want to find a partner who is the best friend that you are attracted to. I say that because, after a few years of being hot and heavy and having physical attraction be the primary driver of your relationship, 99.9999% of your relationship will be based on a solid friendship. You will have this incredible bond that goes deeper than just a physical relationship (don’t worry! You’ll hopefully still have that, too), and that’s the foundation for a fantastic marriage.
Sadly, so many people are distracted by lust in the early months of a relationship and don’t think to look for a potential friendship in the people they date. That never turns out well.
Statistically speaking, the #1 cause for divorce is basic incompatibility (43% divorces are because of this). I think that’s because early on, we aren’t looking for compatibility. We are just following our emotions and feelings, and because those are often driven by physical attraction, this strategy can lead you astray.
Consider what qualities you want in a best friend. You may have a platonic best friend who you can use as a model to help you find a husband who will also be your best friend…with benefits! Maybe it’s important for you to have someone who supports you when you take risks, like starting a business. Maybe you want someone who shares your love of marathons. Know what you want in a best friend, and that will help you find it in a potential partner.
3. Have Critical Conversations Before Tying the Knot
Another top reason for divorce is…you guessed it…money issues! Twenty-two percent of marriages end because couples fight over money (been there?). Do not wait until you are married to have important discussions about money, whether you want kids, where you want to live, and other topics that will significantly impact your marriage.
Do you have $130,000 in student loans that he doesn’t know about? Don’t wait until the honeymoon to tell him.
Does he like to take you out for steak dinners every Thursday night on his $45,000 salary? Don’t wait until you have a mortgage and kids to address his spending problem.
You might be nervous to discuss finances because you have debt or can’t stick to a budget to save your life, but I assure you: he won’t leave you because of it. But you do need to discuss your financial situation as well as your relationship with money before you get married to ensure that your marriage is set up for financial success.
What kind of debt do you have? Are you a spender or a saver? Who will manage the finances in the relationship? Will you share a bank account? These are all questions to discuss while you’re dating.
If you thought my tips on how to find a husband were going to give you the address of a place full of eligible men, sorry to disappoint. But the key to finding a relationship that will last the rest of your life is to know who you are and what you want, be ready for that level of commitment, and have open lines of communication in your relationship.
You also have to ensure that the man you’re dating is ready for a commitment like marriage. The last thing I want you to do is latch onto the next man you date and decide that he’s your future husband if he in no way is right for you or ready for that. Keep your eyes open to signs in the relationship that it’s progressing toward both long-term commitment and then marriage. Ask him early on whether he wants to get married (or married again) before it becomes a loaded question in your relationship. If he tells you he will never, ever get married, you should believe him rather than trying to change him and getting your heart broken in the process.
Talk to our Sexy Confident ladies in the comments below: are you looking to find a husband that is your best friend and best match? What are you willing to do to find him?
Give yourself this gift: sign up for my Attract “The One” Master Class and be on your way to finding that amazing marriage you’ve always wanted. It costs nothing but your time.
Do you sometimes feel like a frog hopping from lily pad to lily pad (consider those pads to be short-term relationships)…but find that every “lily pad” you jump to sinks like a rock? I hear you.
If the perfect guy, who you told all of your friends was The One, ended up ghosting you on the third date…I know how frustrated you are, especially because now you’ve got to start completely over with the 21st-century dating scene.
If you are just sick of the short term relationship pattern you’re stuck in, jumping from one disappointment to another, this video and article are for you.
You’re far from the only woman out there who’s ready to throw in the towel. It’s super frustrating at times! But before you completely give up hope, stick with me. I’m going to teach you how to finally attract a healthy, long term relationship. You’ll be so glad you came.
P.S. One reason you haven’t found a great long term relationship might be because you do all the chasing. In my Attract “The One” Workshop, I teach you how to get a great guy chasing after you. Sign up here.
I’ve helped thousands of women—maybe more—navigate the world of dating, particularly after divorce or the end of a long term relationship. And I have found one concept to be the cornerstone of my advice to all of them:
Find love by chasing principles, rather than by chasing pheromones.
Allow me to explain.
Why a Long Term Relationship Needs Principles
Principles are things we all have, that we use to guide us to make decisions. Merriam-Webster defines a principle as a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption, or a rule or code of conduct.
I’m sure you can think of your own principles. You probably have principles around your family life…whether you want a family…how much time you want to spend with your family…
You might have principles about religion. Are you religious or not? What religion do you follow? Is it important that your partner be the same religion?
You could have principles about politics…or the environment…whatever your principles are, they’re important to you, and they guide how you live. Your specific set of principles come from how you were raised, as well as your unique life experiences, and even your personality.
Use those principles that guide you to find someone who shares similar principles, and you set yourself up for relationship bliss.
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT Clinician, author, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute, calls these shared principles of governance:
“These principles are, in essence, your Ten Commandments. Much like our shared belief in the Constitution, you must believe your shared principles will hold together over the long run, despite shifts and changes in love, lust, common interests, and all other ephemeral attractants. Depending on your imagination and forethought, your principles could include survival, thriving, trust, respect, admiration, radical loyalty, devotion, and a feeling of believing in something greater than the self.”
Why Pheromones Keep You Lily Pad Hopping
On the other hand, we have pheromones that we often let guide us in finding potential partners. Pheromones are simply chemicals we release to attract other humans sexually. For the sake of this article and video, I want to consider pheromones as just physical attraction. Before you can know if you share principles with someone or not, you make a snap judgment about whether you’re physically attracted to him. This is, of course, the basis for dating apps.
I don’t want to call you out, but I’m willing to bet you’ve chased after pheromones at least once in your life. Maybe there was that guy that you could. not. stay. away. from…even though you knew he was totally terrible for you. Maybe it was his dimples that drove you wild…his manly smell…or his biceps…whatever it was, you found it irresistible, despite your brain screaming that this was NOT the guy for you.
So let me break it down for you: you will continue to hop from lily pad to lily pad in short term relationships if you chase pheromones.
Who you are physically attracted to has very little correlation to your future happiness in that relationship. Even worse, as that relationship develops, the intensity of that initial attraction will diminish. And then all you’re left with is a big pile of nothing. A sinking lily pad.
And that, my dear, is why you should instead focus on understanding a man’s principles and finding a guy who shares yours.
While attraction will fade over time, principles tend to stay fairly steady throughout life. And when you find a long term relationship with a man who shares your principles, you’ll find that those principles grow stronger together.
If he’s a family man now, he’ll likely always be a family man. If he’s spiritual now, it’s likely he will be spiritual in the future. If he believes in helping people and the world, he’ll keep on.
And…if he’s a selfish jerk who hates kids…what do you think he’ll be like in 10 years?
Identifying Your Principles for a Long Term Relationship
Okay, so you’re ready to admit that you need to change your approach to finding a long term relationship, and you’re willing to push aside those pheromones in favor of principles. But what if you don’t know what your principles are…or which matter in dating?
Think about the kind of long term relationship you want. Really visualize what it will be like. Not so much “my love will have jet black hair and piercing eyes…” focus on what the day-to-day, as well as the big picture will be like.
Do you want kids? Or would you mind ending up with a man who already has kids?
Would you like him to share your love of volunteering, or talking about politics?
Do you want to get re/married, or would you be happy living together?
Does he need to be vegan if you are?
What are dealbreakers in a relationship for you?
Questions like these help you focus on those principles you have and care about, even if you’ve never identified them as such.
How to Be Guided By Principles, Not Pheromones
I get that attraction is a huge part of dating. Researchers have found, over and over again, that we tend to pursue relationships with people we find physically attractive.
But I need you to realize that attractions and pheromones are only part of the relationship puzzle. Sure, swipe on those apps based on looks…but also read their profiles, because you can get at least a basic sense of who might have similar principles. A guy who says “I’m at the beach 24/7. #PartyLife!” on his dating profile is probably not looking to settle down.
When you go on dates, ask questions to understand what this man’s principles are, particularly as they relate to a potential long term relationship. It’s actually pretty difficult to have a getting-to-know-you conversation and not pick up on at least a few principles. Here are some topics that will help you:
- What he’s passionate about
- His family upbringing
- What he does in his spare time
- What he’s looking for
But also read between the lines, because you can learn a lot about a guy that way. I have a friend who went on several dates with a man who seemed like a perfect gentleman. But on several occasions, he’d tell a story that made him look like a total jerk. One story was about an argument he got into with his neighbor, and he laughingly told my friend how he called the neighbor names that I won’t even repeat here.
My friend realized that this man didn’t share her principle of treating others kindly, and she knew there was no future with him, so she ended things.
I realize this may be a very different approach to dating and love than you’ve taken in the past, but if what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, what do you have to lose?
I also want to tell you that you should never compromise your principles. It won’t work. My friend who was dating the closet jerk tried to brush his stories aside, but they bothered her. She knew that he didn’t align with her principles, and when she finally admitted this to herself, the relationship was over.
Don’t let a guy steamroll your principles with his own. If you’re vegan, for example, and you don’t typically mind if people eat meat in front of you, don’t let a man start lecturing you about how dumb veganism is.
You don’t need that, and you know he’s not Mr. Right if he’s already criticizing your principles.
It should make you happy to realize that there is someone out there who shares your principles! Your love and future life together will be so much sweeter for being in sync about the way you think!
Talk to me in the comments below: what top principle do you want a man to share with you?
If you’re ready to find that long-term relationship with a man who shares your principles, hop on my free Attract “The One” Webinar, because I designed it specifically for you!
Does this ring a bell? You start a new relationship, and at first, it’s looking like everything is going well. It’s like you two were created to be together. It’s magic and sparkles. You can’t get enough of one another.
Just three short months later, your relationship has turned into something resembling the demonic plague [cue scary music]. It’s not pretty. What started out beautiful has turned into an utter sh$% show, and you’re clueless as to what happened.
If your relationships tend to go from rom-com to horror movie when they hit month three, then you’re in the right place.
Trust me when I say you’re far from alone if you’re cursed with having three-month relationships before things go sideways. It’s a thing, and there are a few reasons for it that we’ll get into in this article. Once you know the cause, you can fix the problem. Trust me.
P.S. Part of the solution is attracting the right guy who will want far more than three months with you. Sign up for my Attract the One workshop to find him.
The Curse of the Three-Month Relationship
I went through this curse of the three-month relationship myself during my 20s. And I’ll be honest: I was okay with it. I got to date and meet lots of interesting people, and it gave me insight into what I really wanted in life and love.
Later, of course, that changed, and I began to want a more serious relationship. Lucky for me I met Jessica, and four years later she said “yes”.
As for you, you might not be in in a place where a three-month relationship is enough for you. Maybe you’ve been around the block a few times. Maybe even been married or in a long relationship. Had kids. Been hurt. Or maybe you’re just ready.
If you’re at a point in life where you want something more long-term and serious, having things fall apart at three months can be crazy frustrating. But not to worry! I’m going to identify three mistakes you can avoid to get over that three-month hump.
Mistake #1: You’re Only Chasing Sexual Energy
If you find that your relationships start strong…
…you get completely swept off of your feet…
…and the sex is amazing…
…and you want to spend all your time with this guy…this might be a problem for you. You probably aren’t thinking about any other aspects of your compatibility with this man or even whether you really actually like him (versus the thought of him).
Once you realize that you have nothing in common other than your sexual chemistry, things will fizzle, and that’s usually around the three-month mark.
If you’re looking for long-term potential, it’s really important that you keep yourself in check in those first three months of the relationship. Sure, great sex is amazing, but it’s not everything.
Keep your head on straight and continually ask yourself whether this man would a good partner? Maybe a good husband or stepfather to your kids? Is he reliable? Do you want the same things in life? Is he as into you as you are him? Or does he just seem to want sex?
I find that people who have things end after a few months are way too focused on sexual energy and not the bigger picture. They ignore huge red flags that I think they would have seen if they were thinking clearly.
Here’s the thing: you want to find a guy who can be your best friend, but who you are also attracted to. Sexual energy can dwindle, and then you’re left with a friend (who you can have a relationship with) or someone you don’t actually like all that much. Which do you want?
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
One suggestion I have? Put off having sex with him until you’re sure that you like him for who he is with you and that you’re compatible as a couple. If he’s pushing you to get intimate sooner than you’re ready, he’s probably not looking for a relationship, so don’t even go down that path.
The right guy will be in no hurry to get in your pants, and he’ll be eager to simply get to know you for who you are. There’s nothing sexier than that!
2. You’re Moving Too Fast and Coming On Too Strong
I’ve heard it from so many of you Sexy Confident women, and I get it: you want a great relationship and you know what you’re looking for. But in those early days, you don’t want to have too many expectations like…
…he should be committed to you and only you within the first two weeks of dating…
…or that he’ll text you every single day…
…or that, because you’ve been dating a few months, he’s The One.
I have a good friend who’s looking for a long-term relationship, and she always seems to find amazing partnerships for the first month or so. She has a good time. Things go well, so she starts to build expectations about what’s coming next. Unfortunately, by month two or three, those expectations start killing the relationship. She gets annoyed at all the little things he does (or doesn’t do) because he’s not living up to what she expects.
He’s confused, thinking, “what’s going on here? I thought we were just getting to know one another.”
Things usually end at this point, because neither of them is getting what they want.
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
It’s important to try to let go of those expectations, particularly early on where you really don’t know whether you’re right for one another. Licensed marriage and family therapist Irene Schreiner says:
“New relationships are very fragile and can easily fizzle. They don’t have the same foundation that long-term relationships have developed. As a result, unrealistic expectations can put too much burden on the new relationship, causing it to end prematurely.”
I know it’s a challenge, but try to just enjoy the ride rather than wanting it to go the way you have it scripted in your head.
3. You’re Afraid of Love and Sabotage the Relationship
You might be shaking your head.
“Adam, you’re crazy. I WANT to find love. Why would I sabotage things?”
You might say this, but your actions are telling me otherwise.
When you’ve had a traumatic experience in a past relationship—maybe you were cheated on or abused in some way, or simply had a man shatter your heart—it can undermine a potentially good thing. You may find a wonderful man and have a healthy relationship, but you still subconsciously poke holes in it until the relationship dies.
Then you blame the relationship, not yourself.
You may, deep down, not love yourself or think that you’re worthy of happiness in a relationship. If this resonates with you, come to terms with it. Take a look at your past, and face whatever personal heartache you’re harboring.
How to Avoid This 3-Month Relationship Curse
Realize that your past doesn’t equal your future, and just because you’ve been hurt, cheated on, or broken up with back then doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again. Don’t punish the man who could end up being perfect for you for someone else’s mistakes.
You are the common denominator in all your relationships. If you’re finding that, over and over again, you have a three-month relationship that ends for similar reasons, it’s time to work on yourself and find that internal happiness and love that will help you be whole for the right relationship.
You might have started reading this article thinking your curse of the three-month relationship wasn’t your fault, that it was always the guy. Maybe he was an emotional robot…or just wanted sex…or simply wasn’t right for you. But now you’re owning your role in the fact that you haven’t gotten past this 90-day period to build a solid and lasting relationship.
Congratulations. Owning that is huge. What you do from here is entirely up to you. But I suggest you look carefully at the mistakes you’ve made, whether it was chasing that sexual feeling, having high expectations too soon, or being too afraid of love to be open to it. See what you’ve done and change your approach the next time you start dating someone with true potential.
Talk to me and our Sexy Confident community in the comments below: what’s been the common cause of your three-month relationship curse? What are you going to do to break it?
Learn the three ways to attract a great man and a great relationship so you can get out of this three-month relationship curse with my free webinar where I’ll teach you how to make a man pursue you and only you.
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